Hon? Where's the Freeodge?

Well, cabin fever has gotten to me. My husband was also gone on an interview today. So the combination of being couped up and nervous stress pushed me over the edge.

I rearranged the kitchen. Everything I could move, I ..:did:.. move!
That includes the refrigerator!

I moved things, I threw things out, I tossed crackers at the baby while she swang peacefully in her swing...I called the dog names when his big furry butt got in my way. I Swiffered, I chugged juice right.from.the.container, I lifted the blinds, and rocked out to tunes on the radio.

I feel better.

A Concern Sets In

The retirement home up the street from me has been a frequent focus of mine since I'm out walking so often, as noted here, here, and here.

There's one older gentleman that lives at the retirement home that I've taken to waving to. He's rather frail and probably one of the older residents living there. Only once in all the time I've lived in this home have we exchanged hellos.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't worried every time I saw an ambulance pull up to the home thinking that it.just.might.be.for.him.that.time.

So now that I'm not out very often due to the cold, snowy, rainy, wintery weather, I'm concerned that spring will come and when I do get back out walking he won't be around.

And I reflect...Why? Am I that selfish, to be worried that I'd miss getting to wave to my distant friend?

I guess, it's not that death scares me. Not for myself or for others. What gets me tied up with emotion is the passing.

I don't want anyone to hurt. I don't want the holidays marked with a death of a loved one. I don't want a family to suffer the pain of losing someone that is essential in their life. I don't want the man to be scared about moving on.

Maybe when your time comes, things are different? The Universe is explained to you and you welcome what's to come?

I hope to see him sitting out on the front porch of the retirement home when Spring rolls around.

THE Machine!

Copyright Insanity Infusion

Husband is sitting pretty with his new machine built by moi!

3.4Ghz Intel Pentium 4 Processor
10k speed HD
2 Gigs of RAM
and a 'supah shweet' graphics card Nvidia 6800 256MB PCI express

and online!

I won't hear from him for weeks!

AND! We now have heat!

Strange Weather

The house is still chilly and settled at 61 until the furnace guy comes out this evening.

The weather outside is rather balmy though, thankfully. I woke up to a thunder storm as if it were the middle of summer. I opened my blinds to see if there was still snow and sure enough there is, but a lot of it has melted. I don't even need a coat outside! I mean really, accoring to The Weather Channel it's 58 outside!!

The storm did affect my dreamland though.

I had a strange dream that our SUV exploded while we were driving. The engine just blew up! I freaked out (naturally!) and bolted to the backseat to try to rescue our daughter. I had a heck of a time getting her out of the carseat. Finally she was free from her straps and I took her and went running with my husband following close behind.

I stop a few yards away, grab my husband's shoulder and say, "Oh by the way, if the car's not burning too too badly, can you run back and grab my purse?"

And then I woke up. What a horrible wife...sending my husband back to the blazing car just for my purse.

*~*~Frosty's In My Livingroom~*~*

I woke up this morning noticeably colder than normal. I walk out of the bedroom to check the thermostat and it's 62 degrees in the house.

Brr!

It reads that the heat is on, however, there is no heat coming from the vents.

Brr!

I guess the baby and I will be bundled in blankets and huddling around the PC case soaking up the warmth from the fan until my husband can make the blasted furnace work tonight when he gets home.

At Your Request

Here goes...

3 names you go by: Mama, Emmmm, The Wife

3 screen names you have: Insanity Infusion, Arjeh, Shimayla

3 things you like about yourself: good mommy, good cook, good gamer

3 things you hate/dislike about yourself: procrastinate, hermit (never heard of definition two), worrywart

3 parts of your heritage: Irish, Swedish, Flemish

3 things that scare you: 3am diapers from Hell, something tragic happening to someone I love, this

3 of your everyday essentials: my daughter, soda, the Internet

3 things you're wearing right now: hair clip, this, and this with my daughter napping on top of it in my lap.

3 of your favorite bands/artists: Dave Matthews Band, Depeche Mode, Pink Floyd (But really, how can one limit it to three?)

3 of your favorite songs at present: Where Is My Mind by The Pixies, Under the Milkyway by The Church, My Sundown by Jimmy Eat World

3 new things you want to try in the next 12 months: getting a haircut, get caught up with laundry, figure out a way to organize my daughter's toys so my husband doesn't keep tripping on them

3 things you want in a relationship (love is a given): squishy hugs, sweet kisses, laughter

2 truths and a lie:(no particular order to keep ya guessing)
I delivered my child with no pain meds, I saw a miltary cargo plane refuel in the air mid flight from within the plane, I met Mr. T

3 physical things about a love interest that appeal: beautiful lips, inviting eyes, gentle touch

3 things you just can't do without: my husband and daughter, bubblebaths

3 of your favorite hobbies: playing on the internet, photography, card making

3 things you want to do really badly right now: go pee but my daughter is soundly sleeping on my lap, eat a big italian sub sandwich, sit in a hot tub with a glass of champagne with it lightly snowing outside

3 careers you're considering (let's say I would consider): bar owner, photographer, chef

3 places you want to go on vacation: Ireland, Disney World, Tahiti

3 kids names (either boy or girl): Tara, Ethan, Mac

3 things you want to do before you die: figure out who I am, make a difference, raise my daughter to be happy and independent

3 people who have to take this quiz now:
White Noise, Whispering Loudly, and John's Place To Ramble

Putting On My Geek Hat

Thank you to all those that have offered help, but I'm putting on my geek hat and venturing down this road myself!

My husband's computer died today, and I'm rolling up my sleeves and building him a new one. I've done it before. It's fun and exciting to get all the components you want and assemble it - resulting in a fast, mean machine!

I always get nervous though.

We just spent two hours at the store picking out this and that and more of this and more of that and a dab of something else until our cart looked pretty darn full.

If all goes well, my husband should be sitting pretty later on this evening!

I always get pampered when I have to dive into computer fixing. I hear lots of, "What can I get you?", "Do you need anything?", "Want me to pour you some soda?", "I can watch the baby, sure!", "Are you hungry? I'll go pick you up food...", and the list goes on.

Personally, I think this is to trick me into tending to all the annoying installing that's involved after the system is put together.

So, wish me luck Internet!! I just hope everything is compatible...because otherwise I end up swearing too much, as if that somehow will make things suddenly work right.

Now, if I could just get the baby to nap so I can start on my project at hand!

99 Bottles of Beer

The posting of today's picture, made me think back on the first time I took a snow lift.

I attended a University in Oregon and during the winter months it definately wasn't out of the ordinary to hop in the SUV and head for the mountains on the weekend.

One of my good buddies, who instructed snowboarding on the weekends, talked me into coming up to Mt. Hood and having him give me some lessons. Up to that point, the only skiing I had done was cross country. Which in hindsight, is very different from downhill skiing and even more different from snowboarding.

So, there I was. Just outside the lodge with my rented board, my friend, and all the enthusiasm to walk away that day being as darn close to being an Olympic Snowboarder as possible.

The lesson escapes my memory, except for this statement, "You want to hold your hands like you're holding two pizzas."

Now, that did me very little good considering I'm almost always hungry, and if I envisioned pizzas on my hands it usually just threw off my entire concentration because, truthfully, with the lodge so close, I ended up wanting to go find some stranger sitting secluded with a large pizza carrying a look that begged for company.

So my friend gives me the best lesson he could with the free time that he had between his other lessons and sent me off to practice. I must not have been listening very well, or I'm just that lousy of a beginner with no beginner's luck, because I was clumbsier than you could imagine.

I ventured over to the kiddie area and hung out with all the vivacious seven and eight year olds. Surely if THEY could do it, I could do it too!

There was a nice baby hill with a rope pull.

If you've never experienced a rope pull, it's an experience one should have at some point in their life. A simple machine that circulates a rope up a small hill. You grab ahold of the rope and theoretically its supposed to pull you up the hill so you can then coast down the baby hill.

I, still entirely enthusiastic, grab ahold of that rope and not half a second later completely fall. I clog up the base of the rope hill, and let me tell you, kids are NOT forgiving. They lack all the social graces (albeit even the marginally tolerating ones) that adults have and the sneers and laughs I got made me want to find my Mommy and hide behind her.

So several tries later on that bleeping rope pull and I'm still a blundering disaster.

But then, like a miracle from God, I was able to hold on and there I went up the kiddie hill.

AMAZING! I'm sure the smile on my face was a similar smile as to when I learned to ride my bike all on my own without training wheels.

Half way up though, I got shakey and began to sway to and fro and on a rope swing, activity like that slows you up. Meanwhile I have Super Kid behind me closing in fast.

I hear, "Move it lady!"

Ack! Move it? Doesn't he know this is the farthest I've made it so far? Doesn't he see this smile on my face? But I was doing so well!!

And I try my hardest to stabalize and get going straight again. Super Kid comes crashing in to me. CRASHING! And of course our size differences leave the crash far more unforgiving on his little body than mine.

Super Kid goes collapsing down into the snow. He wasn't hurt by any means. And I got hit by the giggle bug and found the whole episode to be rather comical so I laughed.

He replies, "I'm telling my Mom on you!"

Frustrated, because now I have to go start at this damned rope pull again from the bottom, and still laughing, I reply, "You do that!"

I never did get the swing of that rope pull. But I did think that maybe I shouldn't be hanging out with all the kiddies.

So that was that for that Saturday.

The next Saturday, after I had had a week to convince myself that ~it was just a bad day for me~ and that it had nothing to do with my inability to board-- myself and some friends head back up to the mountain.

YES! Today is the DAY! "I'm so going to rock this mountain today!" I tell myself.

I dink around in the easy peasy area a bit and then grab ahold of my friend who was skiing for the first time and said, "Hey, you been up a ski lift before?"

"No."

"Hmm, me either. Doesn't look so bad though, wanna?"

"Sure!"

So on we hopped. Getting on was rather simple. Up the mountain we go. We're singing 99 bottles of beer and happy as can be. That is until we began to question how we were going to get off the lift.

I started looking ahead and began analyzing how those ahead of me were doing it. Snowboards are a bit tricky because you only keep one foot strapped in while on the lift, and let the other dangle free.

The best conclusion I could come up with on getting off the lift was to simply throw myself from my seat.

Let me tell you now, that's a mistake.

I stopped the entire lift!! I chalk it up as an opportunity for all those behind me to enjoy that winter scenery. Although their moans and groans would suggest otherwise.

The guy at the lift station at the top helped me gain composure again and pulled me off to the side. I got myself all situated back into my board and he asked me, "You okay? You going to be alright going down the mountain?"

"Me? Okay? Oh pfft! I'm fine!! Definately gonna be alright! Thanks though!"

I just had to keep telling myself that right? It really is a pain to be so stubborn sometimes. Once I get something in my head. Ugh.

I start my way down the mountain.

Thinking, "pizzas, I'm holding two pizzas...."

I hadn't gathered the whole idea of 'catching an edge' yet, so naturally it wasn't long before I fell.

When you crash and burn boarding, rarely does it ever feel good.

So I sat for awhile and people-watched. Surely there was some trick I was missing. Watching others for a bit, I thought, would teach me what I needed to know. There I sat, partially down the mountain, snow gently falling upon my face and air cold enough to freze ice twice over.

Ah ha! There goes a boarder. Hmm, they are using their snowboard like a sled! Now that looks fun.

With new inspiration, I undid my left foot from my bindings and sat my toosh right on my board, pulling up my right leg still bound to the board and started on my way down the mountain again.

Whee! Not so bad. Great idea this sled thing. Wow, you sure don't realize how heavy your foot can become if its not strapped in. My left foot began to drag causing a plow of snow to fountain over me. And with each moment passing, my speed was picking up.

Off to my side, I can see some people now stopping to watch ME go down the mountain.

I begin thinking, "you know, maybe this wasn't such a great idea. How in the world am I going to stop? I'm going fast...oh hell, I'll just toss myself off to the side and make myselef crash..yeah..my.only.choice."

So I did just that. Ouch. And again, I sat half way down the mountain wondering how I was going to get down the rest of the mountain without killing myself.

Snow Patrol stopped next to me and asked me if I was okay and if I needed a lift down. In chimes my stubborness again, "Oh I'm fine!! Just taking a breather!"

I decide the sled idea was stupid and if I ever laid eyes on that boarder that made me think it was a good idea I'd ...well, I'd...I'd do something but at the moment I needed to figure out how to get down the rest of the mountain.

I strap in my left foot again. Get myself upright and going down the mountain again. Still utterly clueless about catching an edge.

In what felt like no time at all, I go flying in the air and land hard. My body in one direction, my feet the other. That crash really hurt. But! I could now see the lodge. Oh glorious lodge.

My face was frozen, my eyelids nearly frozen shut (Invest in snow shades...totally worth it!), and my ankle was killing me (Sprained truthfully which I found out later.).

I pull myself up once again, because now the end is in sight and it gave me new motivation to get down the mountain.

Up and down again...another crash.

But this time, I decided I could take no more. The mountain won. I looked over and saw my friend that rode up in the lift with me. His venture down the mountain hadn't been all that great either. He broke one of his ski poles in half!

I unstrapped my board was walked the rest of the way down.

I was greeted with hugs and of course howling laughter at my raggedy, unloved looking self. The mountain was unforgiving.

I limped my sorry self to the lodge and looked for that stranger with pizza, but settled on hot cocoa by the window instead.

From then on, I kept to night boarding. The mountain was so much kinder to me. I learned about edges and there were no kids screaming, "MOVE IT LADY!"

Tub Tranquility

Rarely do I leave the baby tending up to my husband to do solo, but tonight I really wanted to soak in a hot bath up to my neck in sudsy water and not have to think about the sick munchkin and keeping her happy.

So I passed her off to my main squeeze and grabbed pjs of choice and closed the bathroom door and did my best to pretend I was in the tub of some tropical cabana.

I heard playing and crying come from the play room, the living room, the dining room, the bedroom.

I heard all the tryings of a man with a baby both at odds with each other in search of World Peace.

Then I hear a knock on the bathroom door, "Whatcha doin'?"

"Trying to soak."

"I don't know how you do this all day long. She's crazy."

I reply with silence.

As I listen to my husband's forlorn feet shuffle away from the bathroom across the wood floor, I hear, "Man, I wish I had boobs."

Up Your Nose

You know, there's just something extremely comical about my daughter sticking my lipgloss tube up my husband's nose while he tries to hold her.

Him desperately asking her to stop and her relentlessly continuing...

It.just.makes.me.laugh.