The Curtain

It was winter… a few years ago.

Winter as an elementary teacher means lots of runny, snotty noses followed by coughs and sneezes. When you teach the little ones, daily life at school becomes a lot of …”Teacher! I love you!!”...”I’m sick!”…cough, sneeze, wipe nose with hand, smear snot on arms, run to teacher to show your undying affection.

In order to combat the germs, we, as a class, did lots of hand washing and desk wiping… and for added fun, and cleanliness, I’d have the kids wipe down their chairs and pencils too. For awhile I even had the students bend down to sneeze on their shoes. It was far better than having them sneeze on their hands and arms and they thought it was a fun game. I actually had the least amount of sick students that year.

But one memory returns to me time and time again and always gives me such a laugh.

The class was busy working on their math assignment for the day. I was rotating around the room assisting students that needed help. My assistants were also roaming around the classroom helping other students that called for aid.

One of my more interesting students, who was always well spoken, clearly had a cold affecting him this day. One of my assistants was counseling this child on cleanliness and the art of using a tissue when one has a runny nose.

“You need to go wash your hands. If you have a runny nose, you need to use a tissue! Don’t sit at your desk and dig and dig and dig…it’s not clean!”

“But I had stuff in my nose that I needed to get out!”

“Well, you have to use a tissue!”

I chuckled to myself as I listened to this conversation in the distance.

So math class continued and a few moments later, I looked over to check on the student with the nose issues. Ever so carefully, he was doing just as he was told: using a tissue to address his runny nose.

He was holding up the tissue as a curtain with one hand, while digging in his nose with the other!

I had to laugh.

Apparently blowing his nose with the tissue just wasn’t going to work, but he wanted to make sure he was doing what he was told and used the tissue.

Kids are so funny.

Carb-o-holic

Copyright Insanity Infusion

I'm addicted to carbs. I could never survive on Atkins. I have a hard time even thinking about others being on Atkins. The mere thought of giving up carbs makes me want to cuddle with a loaf of bread.

Tonight I'm making homemade fries. I snacked on french bread and crackers and a few croutons while I cut them up. I'm making fresh rolls tonight for the turkey burgers that we're having for dinner along with the fries.

I used to drive an hour to pick my husband up from work a few years ago. It was ~an hour each direction. On days when traffic was light, I loved stopping by my favorite deli in the world and getting a freshly made baguette and some of their cheese/pistachio/garlic spread. I'd sit in the car waiting for my husband to come out to meet me and just snack to my little heart's content.

I love toast in the morning. Bread and cheese or crackers and cheese for snacks. I love rolls with dinner. Potatoes, rice...you name it.

I'd rather eat less of something than give it up. I'd rather exercise by taking evening walks with a coffee in hand or go for a midday stroll to take in some fresh air to make up for what I eat.

And now I wait with great anticipation for the fresh fries I'll be eating tonight. And I'm off for a walk so I can thoroughly enjoy them!

Do They Really Think We Don't Know?

For a year now almost, I have found it to be rather comical that my tenants feel the need to blare their music when they are doing the deed. I mean, I can't see through the floor, obviously, but do they really think that when they crank up the stereo one night a week at a late hour for about 20 minutes and then turn it back down, that we're going to think they are simply playing a few of their favorite songs?

They are adults. They are married. They're going to be intimate I presume since the wife mentioned that are wanting children...but why blare the music?

Just to clarify: We can't hear anything that goes on in our tenant's living space...except for music when they blare it. So unless they never make noise, unless it's one of those times I don't think we'd really hear any of their going-ons without the music.

And an added note of agreement: David, I have to say I was thinking the same thing. You'd think the music would last for longer than 20 minutes...whether it was needed or not. And MoatesGarage, I had to call my husband at work to tell him your suggestion of borrowing their CD...was a good laugh!

Salty Sweet

I've been stressed out lately. Are we moving? If so, where? If not, how will I change the house? Will we remodel? When will the nice weather come? When will the snow stop? When will the baby start walking? Will the dog ever stop shedding? Why does laundry build up so quickly? Are we getting a new car? How long until the ice on the driveway melts? Will we hire movers if we move? How will we get all this heavy furniture down the stairs if we don't hire someone? Maybe we won't even need movers if we don't move...

And the cycle continues.

Me + stress = food. I want to feed the world when I get stressed out.

So needless to say, the family has eaten well this week.

Last night though, we went out to dinner. I ordered a much needed house margarita and asked for the ever-so-loved heavily salted glass rim. It's usually a request that's never filled, but last night our waitress did a beaitful job of salting that rim so thickly that it was even overboard for my own saltoholic tastebuds.

I left the restaurant tequila happy with a tongue on fire.

But that has left me craving sweets today. What better combo than sweet to follow salt!...

So today I made a double crunch pie....chocolate creme filling, chocolate creme cookies crumbled with peanutbutter chips and chocolate chips sprinkled on top, all in a chocolate cookie crust.

I've eaten too many cookies and licked the bowl clean of the left over chocolate creme.

And...now...I...feel...sick.

I wish I was one of those people that just wanted to exercise nonstop when stress became abundant.

Hold That Pose

Ever since I was a child, I've enjoyed taking pictures. I have boxes upon boxes of pictures that I've taken throughout my life....from elementary school to the present. While home over the holidays, I even found some pictures that I took in a summer school class when I was in the sixth grade where we learned how to develop pictures in a blackroom. So I guess you could say, me holding a camera was, and continues to be, a common sight.

It's nice to have so much of my past documented. Albeit, there are many arm, nose, and random nothingness photos. Goodness knows what I was doing when I snapped those shots. Now it's something I enjoy doing just for fun rather than needing an event to take pictures of.

I take my camera with me on my walks and am forever looking for the picture. I love it when I find it. It wasn't until I started blogging that I decided to share my photos with the Internet.

There's quite a few to see, and I know a good portion of my readers have looked at my photos and sent emails to me (and I thank you for that!), but let me share the archive links in case you are new or want to take another peek. I started posting in October and have continued sharing through November, December, and now January.

I can't imagine I'll ever lose my passion for pictures.

Refreshed

I know I've been saying I'm sick of the snow, but I just got back from a walk and it was really nice outside. It was cold, but not too cold...lightly snowing, soft chilled breeze.

Everyone I met or passed was in a good mood too it seemed.

So, for today, and just today...I liked the snow.

What's Your Burner?

While cooking dinner last night I realized that I am definately a back burner cook. If I'm not using all four burners on the stovetop, I use the back burners instead of the front ones. I'm not sure why I do this. So it got me to wondering if other people have burner preferences? Do you prefer the front burners to the back ones? Left burners over the right burners?

What's your burner?

The Layers Are Killing Me

We must have had 14 inches of snow over the weekend. Yuck!

I'm the type of person who loves to wear jeans and be barefoot with a t-shirt on. I don't like having to blow dry my hair. I don't like having cold feet. I would rather not wear a coat.

I love being able to be outside and go for walks.

I want to feel the warm sun on my face and a breeze through my hair that won't make my earrings freeze and my ears ache.

I'd rather see palm trees instead of snowy trees.

Coats, sweaters, gloves, hats, scarves, socks, layers, and layers, and layers....snow, cold, and more snow, and more cold, and wind that hurts your face.

I've had enough!!

I Wonder

I really wonder why some nights people remember their dreams, and other nights it's as if you didn't dream at all.

Almost every night this week, I've woke up remembering my dreams clearly.

Are dreams a mere rehash of events from your day/life/conscious thoughts? Or is there more to it than that?

Do they stay glued into your memory because you are supposed to pull some sort of realization from them? Or did you just happen to wake up in a cycle of dreamland that allowed you to recall?

I wonder.

Those Cookies!

Well, I did make those cookies yesterday. They turned out a tad bigger than I figured! Mammoth cookies really....

Only four fit on a cookie sheet!



Copyright Insanity Infusion

The yummy marshmellow filling was peeking through just to make sure you knew it was there for the eating.

Then I frosted them...



Copyright Insanity Infusion

The munchkin thought they were pretty neat and wanted one all to herself. They met the approval of my husband with a simple, "These cookies are really good!"...followed by an almost out of breath, "DAMN!"

I really didn't think they'd turn out so big. I was dancing and being silly with the baby while I made them, and I guess I wasn't paying close attention to how I formed them. When the batch only made six cookies, I should have known. It wasn't until I opened the oven to take the first four out that a wild, "OH $H!T!" came flying out of my mouth.

Today I'm Tired

We're supposed to get a total of 12 inches of snowfall this weekend. Maybe six inches by tonight and then another six by Sunday. As hard as I try to envision palm trees sprouting in my back yard, it just isn't happening.

I woke up very early to the back and forth sound of the street plowers working to make the morning commute for the job force better. I would have really enjoyed sleeping longer. Even over the sound of the box fan in my room, the vrooom scrape vroom scrape and constant sound of what seemed to be wheels spinning on ice was more than my sleeping brain could handle and I laid there awake...blinking into the grey morning hue of light peeking in my window from the blinds.

I washed dishes, made faces at the munchkin who was tossing all of her toys out of her playpen in the kitchen, and started a batch of Italian beef which will take ten to twelve hours to cook and make the house smell good resulting in me being hungry all.day.long.

And here it is...in the afternoon and I'm fading. I'm hungry. It's snowing.

Maybe I'll put on a pot of coffee. And bake chocolate fudge, marshmellow-filled cookies and put chocolate frosting on top.

I Did It!

When I woke up this morning I promised myself I would drag my lazy toosh outside...and I did!

By the time I got to the corner of the street, which was only three houses down, I was cold and was definately thinking, "This will be a short walk! But hey, at least I got out!"

I convinced myself to walk up the street to grab a mocha. I met several people along the way...all of which stopped me to check to see if I had my baby bundled properly. Do I look like I am not mentally capable of making sure my child is layered up enough before venturing outside? I found that odd, but I was friendly nevertheless and assured each of them that she was warm as can be. The smile on her face sent them back on their way with their concern set at ease.

I make it to Starbucks and although I haven't been in in awhile, they still had my mocha waiting for me. I always feel like it's special treatment when they do that. Silly I guess, but it's friendly of them.

After I left the coffee shop, it didn't feel quite so bad outside. It was snowing, but the initial winter shock of being outside had worn off and I was ready to continue my walk. We walked quite a bit further, waited for two trains to pass as we crossed the tracks, and then headed home on a different route than the way we came.

What was really nice, was that the sidewalk cleaner machine guy noticed us walking (I swear having a child strapped to you often gets you good attention!) and zipped across the street. It was as if he was rolling out the Red Carpet of Winter ahead of us and left me a nice, clean, snow-free sidewalk to walk on! So nice!

I let the munchkin explore the snow in the front yard when we got back. That lasted about two minutes before she decided it wasn't as fun as it looked, and we headed inside for a cookie and a nap.

It's amazing what a little walk and fresh air can do for the mind and body.

I feel good!

Dana Lynch

So I'm going to attempt to use the Internet to locate a long lost friend.

I haven't spoken to her in YEARS. Last time we talked was when we lived across from each other in Washington State. She has a younger sister named KC.

So, if you know Dana, or Dana Lynch if you're reading this...leave me a comment so I can be in touch!!

It's been...18 years I think. I'd like to find you.

It's Official

I'm lazy!

Granted, I was very sick and thankfully, I'm feeling MUCH better!

But with the snow and icky weather and very cold temperatures I haven't been out walking. It's hard with the stroller in the snow, as I've mentioned before. I can carry the munchkin in the body carrier, but she does get heavy for me pretty quickly now and I'm always a little concerned about slipping on the ice and falling with her strapped to me.

Oh gosh, let me stop myself before I continue on with the excuses. You see how I am? I'm terrible.

So, this morning I'm feeling GOBS better and I'm up around the house catching up on dirty dish washing and making the bed and tending to the baby and offering to make a pot of coffee and hanging my husband's wet towel that he left on the bed back on the hook in the bathroom (Why does he always leave the wet towel on the bed? gah!).

My husband goes out to shovel the driveway since we got a noticeable amount of snow last night. He returns and says, "Oh, your friend Richard says hello."

"My friend, Richard?"

"You know, next door, your friend, Richard. He said to say hello."

"Ohhh right, Richard! Well that was nice of him...he's out and about in the snow?"

"Yep."

And with that simple -yep- I suddenly felt like the laziest person around.

My friend has a physical impairment which makes it difficult for him to walk easily. He uses a cane and it takes him a bit of time to get from one place to another. We'd pass each other often on our daily walks and stop from time to time to chit chat about x, y, and z.

If he is out walking in this snowy, cold weather...Why aren't I?

Not Much To Say

Except that I'm very sick. I haven't been this sick in a very long time. Send good vibes my way, please.

Bacon: The Wonder Meat

I love bacon, I truly do.

My husband and I used to drive six hours to visit one of our Uncles knowing damn good and well at the end of those six long hours, we'd have the best bacon waiting for us. The family jokes about it, because I could easily sit down and put away a whole slab myself if I wasn't paying any attention to manners. But even still, after everyone would be stuffed on breakfast, I would have saved some room in hopes of hearing, "There's a few pieces of bacon left, does anyone want them?" in which I would chime in without a pause, "Me!"

Those relatives have since moved half across the country, so we don't get that yummy bacon any more. Sadly.

I think my daughter inherited my love of bacon though.

The first time she crawled up stairs on her own, she was on the hot pursuit of bacon she smelled. She stopped from playing, sniffed the air toward the kitchen, hoisted up that big diaper butt of hers and headed for the stairs. She crawled up them with no hesitation and made a mad crawling dash to the stove, pulling herself up to a standing position only to stare at the edge of the pan that was cooking up some delicious bacon.

That was the first sign.

Then today, I was trying to get some dishes washed, but seeing as how she's become mobile, her separation anxiety has really set in. So if myself or my husband aren't holding her, she has a fit. Even if I'm two feet away and making faces at her. I guess in all fairness, it isn't like this all the time, but this morning it was.

I tried a cracker to soothe her. That didn't work. I tried a graham cracker cookie. Didn't work. I tried her bottle. Sippy cup. A banana. I tried luring the dog into the kitchen, as he's usually a great distraction. None of that worked.

On another tangent in my mind, I was thinking about what I would cook for dinner. I open up the freezer and take out some bacon to thaw so I could make sandwiches later.

Upon her seeing the frozen slab of meat, she stopped her crying. So I thought, "Hmm, this child of mine...she's an odd one," and I handed her the bacon.

She sat down in her play pen and hugged the bacon for all it's worth and looked up at me with the biggest grin ever.

When she gets old enough to really eat bacon, I hope there's not going to be any family duels as to who gets the last piece!

Eight Singles

I have no idea how this happened.

I was folding laundry this morning and at the end (I always save my socks folding for last.) I had eight socks with no partner!

They are all very different socks, so I can't even get away with putting a black work sock with a blue work sock in hopes that my husband won't notice when he gets dressed in the morning half groggy.

Baby socks, my socks, husband's socks...eight solos...that's just crazy...in.one.single.load!

Six Inches In Diameter

We went to Culver's today for lunch. I ate like I had never seen food before...devouring a loaded burger (with bacon too!) that measured approximately six inches in diameter! My husband was unable to finish his, but I nibbled mine away right down to the last bite.

When you're really in the mood for something, and you get it, it's just so good!

Niagra Falls In My Kitchen

I was celebrating my new kitchen arrangement and thought I'd clean a bit. (Well, okay, it needed cleaning anyways, but it was easier to get into if I thought about the new arrangement I had.)

I was putting dishes away, mopping the hardwood floors...the munchkin was happily playing on the floor and standing at her beloved dog dish stand. For some reason the girl is fascinated with the stand that the dog's dishes are in. Seeing as how the water bowl was clean with fresh water and the food dish clean with no food in it, I didn't see any harm in letting her wag her hands around in either of them. She was having a blast!

Clank! clank! in the dry bowl...Splish! Splash! in the water bowl.

But then she decided she'd do some sort of baton act with the stand and both bowls go flying as she topples over with the stand firm in hand.

She continued right on with her playing..with even more gusto because now the bowls were free from the stand and she could really bang them. Not to mention, the water bowl was now empty! What noise!

Meanwhile, the kitchen floor was now a swimming pool!! Ugh!

I think I used nearly an entire roll of paper towels and a dry rag to get up all that water.

Hon? Where's the Freeodge?

Well, cabin fever has gotten to me. My husband was also gone on an interview today. So the combination of being couped up and nervous stress pushed me over the edge.

I rearranged the kitchen. Everything I could move, I ..:did:.. move!
That includes the refrigerator!

I moved things, I threw things out, I tossed crackers at the baby while she swang peacefully in her swing...I called the dog names when his big furry butt got in my way. I Swiffered, I chugged juice right.from.the.container, I lifted the blinds, and rocked out to tunes on the radio.

I feel better.

A Concern Sets In

The retirement home up the street from me has been a frequent focus of mine since I'm out walking so often, as noted here, here, and here.

There's one older gentleman that lives at the retirement home that I've taken to waving to. He's rather frail and probably one of the older residents living there. Only once in all the time I've lived in this home have we exchanged hellos.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't worried every time I saw an ambulance pull up to the home thinking that it.just.might.be.for.him.that.time.

So now that I'm not out very often due to the cold, snowy, rainy, wintery weather, I'm concerned that spring will come and when I do get back out walking he won't be around.

And I reflect...Why? Am I that selfish, to be worried that I'd miss getting to wave to my distant friend?

I guess, it's not that death scares me. Not for myself or for others. What gets me tied up with emotion is the passing.

I don't want anyone to hurt. I don't want the holidays marked with a death of a loved one. I don't want a family to suffer the pain of losing someone that is essential in their life. I don't want the man to be scared about moving on.

Maybe when your time comes, things are different? The Universe is explained to you and you welcome what's to come?

I hope to see him sitting out on the front porch of the retirement home when Spring rolls around.

THE Machine!

Copyright Insanity Infusion

Husband is sitting pretty with his new machine built by moi!

3.4Ghz Intel Pentium 4 Processor
10k speed HD
2 Gigs of RAM
and a 'supah shweet' graphics card Nvidia 6800 256MB PCI express

and online!

I won't hear from him for weeks!

AND! We now have heat!

Strange Weather

The house is still chilly and settled at 61 until the furnace guy comes out this evening.

The weather outside is rather balmy though, thankfully. I woke up to a thunder storm as if it were the middle of summer. I opened my blinds to see if there was still snow and sure enough there is, but a lot of it has melted. I don't even need a coat outside! I mean really, accoring to The Weather Channel it's 58 outside!!

The storm did affect my dreamland though.

I had a strange dream that our SUV exploded while we were driving. The engine just blew up! I freaked out (naturally!) and bolted to the backseat to try to rescue our daughter. I had a heck of a time getting her out of the carseat. Finally she was free from her straps and I took her and went running with my husband following close behind.

I stop a few yards away, grab my husband's shoulder and say, "Oh by the way, if the car's not burning too too badly, can you run back and grab my purse?"

And then I woke up. What a horrible wife...sending my husband back to the blazing car just for my purse.

*~*~Frosty's In My Livingroom~*~*

I woke up this morning noticeably colder than normal. I walk out of the bedroom to check the thermostat and it's 62 degrees in the house.

Brr!

It reads that the heat is on, however, there is no heat coming from the vents.

Brr!

I guess the baby and I will be bundled in blankets and huddling around the PC case soaking up the warmth from the fan until my husband can make the blasted furnace work tonight when he gets home.

At Your Request

Here goes...

3 names you go by: Mama, Emmmm, The Wife

3 screen names you have: Insanity Infusion, Arjeh, Shimayla

3 things you like about yourself: good mommy, good cook, good gamer

3 things you hate/dislike about yourself: procrastinate, hermit (never heard of definition two), worrywart

3 parts of your heritage: Irish, Swedish, Flemish

3 things that scare you: 3am diapers from Hell, something tragic happening to someone I love, this

3 of your everyday essentials: my daughter, soda, the Internet

3 things you're wearing right now: hair clip, this, and this with my daughter napping on top of it in my lap.

3 of your favorite bands/artists: Dave Matthews Band, Depeche Mode, Pink Floyd (But really, how can one limit it to three?)

3 of your favorite songs at present: Where Is My Mind by The Pixies, Under the Milkyway by The Church, My Sundown by Jimmy Eat World

3 new things you want to try in the next 12 months: getting a haircut, get caught up with laundry, figure out a way to organize my daughter's toys so my husband doesn't keep tripping on them

3 things you want in a relationship (love is a given): squishy hugs, sweet kisses, laughter

2 truths and a lie:(no particular order to keep ya guessing)
I delivered my child with no pain meds, I saw a miltary cargo plane refuel in the air mid flight from within the plane, I met Mr. T

3 physical things about a love interest that appeal: beautiful lips, inviting eyes, gentle touch

3 things you just can't do without: my husband and daughter, bubblebaths

3 of your favorite hobbies: playing on the internet, photography, card making

3 things you want to do really badly right now: go pee but my daughter is soundly sleeping on my lap, eat a big italian sub sandwich, sit in a hot tub with a glass of champagne with it lightly snowing outside

3 careers you're considering (let's say I would consider): bar owner, photographer, chef

3 places you want to go on vacation: Ireland, Disney World, Tahiti

3 kids names (either boy or girl): Tara, Ethan, Mac

3 things you want to do before you die: figure out who I am, make a difference, raise my daughter to be happy and independent

3 people who have to take this quiz now:
White Noise, Whispering Loudly, and John's Place To Ramble

Putting On My Geek Hat

Thank you to all those that have offered help, but I'm putting on my geek hat and venturing down this road myself!

My husband's computer died today, and I'm rolling up my sleeves and building him a new one. I've done it before. It's fun and exciting to get all the components you want and assemble it - resulting in a fast, mean machine!

I always get nervous though.

We just spent two hours at the store picking out this and that and more of this and more of that and a dab of something else until our cart looked pretty darn full.

If all goes well, my husband should be sitting pretty later on this evening!

I always get pampered when I have to dive into computer fixing. I hear lots of, "What can I get you?", "Do you need anything?", "Want me to pour you some soda?", "I can watch the baby, sure!", "Are you hungry? I'll go pick you up food...", and the list goes on.

Personally, I think this is to trick me into tending to all the annoying installing that's involved after the system is put together.

So, wish me luck Internet!! I just hope everything is compatible...because otherwise I end up swearing too much, as if that somehow will make things suddenly work right.

Now, if I could just get the baby to nap so I can start on my project at hand!

99 Bottles of Beer

The posting of today's picture, made me think back on the first time I took a snow lift.

I attended a University in Oregon and during the winter months it definately wasn't out of the ordinary to hop in the SUV and head for the mountains on the weekend.

One of my good buddies, who instructed snowboarding on the weekends, talked me into coming up to Mt. Hood and having him give me some lessons. Up to that point, the only skiing I had done was cross country. Which in hindsight, is very different from downhill skiing and even more different from snowboarding.

So, there I was. Just outside the lodge with my rented board, my friend, and all the enthusiasm to walk away that day being as darn close to being an Olympic Snowboarder as possible.

The lesson escapes my memory, except for this statement, "You want to hold your hands like you're holding two pizzas."

Now, that did me very little good considering I'm almost always hungry, and if I envisioned pizzas on my hands it usually just threw off my entire concentration because, truthfully, with the lodge so close, I ended up wanting to go find some stranger sitting secluded with a large pizza carrying a look that begged for company.

So my friend gives me the best lesson he could with the free time that he had between his other lessons and sent me off to practice. I must not have been listening very well, or I'm just that lousy of a beginner with no beginner's luck, because I was clumbsier than you could imagine.

I ventured over to the kiddie area and hung out with all the vivacious seven and eight year olds. Surely if THEY could do it, I could do it too!

There was a nice baby hill with a rope pull.

If you've never experienced a rope pull, it's an experience one should have at some point in their life. A simple machine that circulates a rope up a small hill. You grab ahold of the rope and theoretically its supposed to pull you up the hill so you can then coast down the baby hill.

I, still entirely enthusiastic, grab ahold of that rope and not half a second later completely fall. I clog up the base of the rope hill, and let me tell you, kids are NOT forgiving. They lack all the social graces (albeit even the marginally tolerating ones) that adults have and the sneers and laughs I got made me want to find my Mommy and hide behind her.

So several tries later on that bleeping rope pull and I'm still a blundering disaster.

But then, like a miracle from God, I was able to hold on and there I went up the kiddie hill.

AMAZING! I'm sure the smile on my face was a similar smile as to when I learned to ride my bike all on my own without training wheels.

Half way up though, I got shakey and began to sway to and fro and on a rope swing, activity like that slows you up. Meanwhile I have Super Kid behind me closing in fast.

I hear, "Move it lady!"

Ack! Move it? Doesn't he know this is the farthest I've made it so far? Doesn't he see this smile on my face? But I was doing so well!!

And I try my hardest to stabalize and get going straight again. Super Kid comes crashing in to me. CRASHING! And of course our size differences leave the crash far more unforgiving on his little body than mine.

Super Kid goes collapsing down into the snow. He wasn't hurt by any means. And I got hit by the giggle bug and found the whole episode to be rather comical so I laughed.

He replies, "I'm telling my Mom on you!"

Frustrated, because now I have to go start at this damned rope pull again from the bottom, and still laughing, I reply, "You do that!"

I never did get the swing of that rope pull. But I did think that maybe I shouldn't be hanging out with all the kiddies.

So that was that for that Saturday.

The next Saturday, after I had had a week to convince myself that ~it was just a bad day for me~ and that it had nothing to do with my inability to board-- myself and some friends head back up to the mountain.

YES! Today is the DAY! "I'm so going to rock this mountain today!" I tell myself.

I dink around in the easy peasy area a bit and then grab ahold of my friend who was skiing for the first time and said, "Hey, you been up a ski lift before?"

"No."

"Hmm, me either. Doesn't look so bad though, wanna?"

"Sure!"

So on we hopped. Getting on was rather simple. Up the mountain we go. We're singing 99 bottles of beer and happy as can be. That is until we began to question how we were going to get off the lift.

I started looking ahead and began analyzing how those ahead of me were doing it. Snowboards are a bit tricky because you only keep one foot strapped in while on the lift, and let the other dangle free.

The best conclusion I could come up with on getting off the lift was to simply throw myself from my seat.

Let me tell you now, that's a mistake.

I stopped the entire lift!! I chalk it up as an opportunity for all those behind me to enjoy that winter scenery. Although their moans and groans would suggest otherwise.

The guy at the lift station at the top helped me gain composure again and pulled me off to the side. I got myself all situated back into my board and he asked me, "You okay? You going to be alright going down the mountain?"

"Me? Okay? Oh pfft! I'm fine!! Definately gonna be alright! Thanks though!"

I just had to keep telling myself that right? It really is a pain to be so stubborn sometimes. Once I get something in my head. Ugh.

I start my way down the mountain.

Thinking, "pizzas, I'm holding two pizzas...."

I hadn't gathered the whole idea of 'catching an edge' yet, so naturally it wasn't long before I fell.

When you crash and burn boarding, rarely does it ever feel good.

So I sat for awhile and people-watched. Surely there was some trick I was missing. Watching others for a bit, I thought, would teach me what I needed to know. There I sat, partially down the mountain, snow gently falling upon my face and air cold enough to freze ice twice over.

Ah ha! There goes a boarder. Hmm, they are using their snowboard like a sled! Now that looks fun.

With new inspiration, I undid my left foot from my bindings and sat my toosh right on my board, pulling up my right leg still bound to the board and started on my way down the mountain again.

Whee! Not so bad. Great idea this sled thing. Wow, you sure don't realize how heavy your foot can become if its not strapped in. My left foot began to drag causing a plow of snow to fountain over me. And with each moment passing, my speed was picking up.

Off to my side, I can see some people now stopping to watch ME go down the mountain.

I begin thinking, "you know, maybe this wasn't such a great idea. How in the world am I going to stop? I'm going fast...oh hell, I'll just toss myself off to the side and make myselef crash..yeah..my.only.choice."

So I did just that. Ouch. And again, I sat half way down the mountain wondering how I was going to get down the rest of the mountain without killing myself.

Snow Patrol stopped next to me and asked me if I was okay and if I needed a lift down. In chimes my stubborness again, "Oh I'm fine!! Just taking a breather!"

I decide the sled idea was stupid and if I ever laid eyes on that boarder that made me think it was a good idea I'd ...well, I'd...I'd do something but at the moment I needed to figure out how to get down the rest of the mountain.

I strap in my left foot again. Get myself upright and going down the mountain again. Still utterly clueless about catching an edge.

In what felt like no time at all, I go flying in the air and land hard. My body in one direction, my feet the other. That crash really hurt. But! I could now see the lodge. Oh glorious lodge.

My face was frozen, my eyelids nearly frozen shut (Invest in snow shades...totally worth it!), and my ankle was killing me (Sprained truthfully which I found out later.).

I pull myself up once again, because now the end is in sight and it gave me new motivation to get down the mountain.

Up and down again...another crash.

But this time, I decided I could take no more. The mountain won. I looked over and saw my friend that rode up in the lift with me. His venture down the mountain hadn't been all that great either. He broke one of his ski poles in half!

I unstrapped my board was walked the rest of the way down.

I was greeted with hugs and of course howling laughter at my raggedy, unloved looking self. The mountain was unforgiving.

I limped my sorry self to the lodge and looked for that stranger with pizza, but settled on hot cocoa by the window instead.

From then on, I kept to night boarding. The mountain was so much kinder to me. I learned about edges and there were no kids screaming, "MOVE IT LADY!"

Tub Tranquility

Rarely do I leave the baby tending up to my husband to do solo, but tonight I really wanted to soak in a hot bath up to my neck in sudsy water and not have to think about the sick munchkin and keeping her happy.

So I passed her off to my main squeeze and grabbed pjs of choice and closed the bathroom door and did my best to pretend I was in the tub of some tropical cabana.

I heard playing and crying come from the play room, the living room, the dining room, the bedroom.

I heard all the tryings of a man with a baby both at odds with each other in search of World Peace.

Then I hear a knock on the bathroom door, "Whatcha doin'?"

"Trying to soak."

"I don't know how you do this all day long. She's crazy."

I reply with silence.

As I listen to my husband's forlorn feet shuffle away from the bathroom across the wood floor, I hear, "Man, I wish I had boobs."

Up Your Nose

You know, there's just something extremely comical about my daughter sticking my lipgloss tube up my husband's nose while he tries to hold her.

Him desperately asking her to stop and her relentlessly continuing...

It.just.makes.me.laugh.

Elephants In Grocery Bags

So I was reading this post today and it made me think of a story from when I was teaching on the west coast.

I was a third grade teacher at the time teaching in one of the best school districts in the nation. So with a reputation like that, a lot of mothers that came in to help out carried an air about them that was snobby and mightier than thou.

So this one day, I was in the copy room with one of the helper moms and several other staff members along with my administrator. This one mom in particular had a severe reputation for being quite prissy and hoity toity (is that how you even spell hoity toity...anyways)...

I had listened to her go on and on for a good ten minutes when my ears were going to start bleeding if I had to hear one more pathetically gooey and sugary word spew from her mouth.

So I smile at her and begin with an old joke I had heard years before, "So Mrs. So-N-So, how do you fit an elephant into a Safeway bag?" [Safeway is a grocery store in the United States for those who are unfamiliar.]

Of course being the social nature teachers are, everyone within earshot listened in.

The mother pauses and says, "I don't know. How?"

I reply, "What? You don't know? C'mon, think about it..."

She ponders for a bit and insists again that she doesn't know, so I repeat the question.

"How do you fit an elephant into a Safeway bag?"

"Tell me, I really don't know!"

"Well, you take the F out of way."

There's a long pause followed by, "The F out of way???"

"Yeah, you simply take the F out of way."

And I couldn't have planned it any better. The mother in her most prissy and snotty tone in a rather loud know-it-all voice belted out for the whole area to hear...with a severe look of --Well DUHHH!-- strewn across her face..

"THERE IS NO F IN WAY!"

And calmly, I answer, "Exactly."

The poor woman's face turned as red as a strawberry and all those that were listening howled until they hurt.

I did feel a little guilty, but the woman had it coming to her.

And then my administrator said, "Hmm, I don't get it..." and he picked up a pen and paper and sat down to write it out.

I Say, Doctor!

Someone help me! I can't get this song out of my head!

Months ago my girlfriend planted this song's seed in my head, and it's been haunting me ever since. Today especially.

Someone.make.it.stop.

Insomina with Glare

It's one thing to lay in a dark room unable to sleep. It's another, entirely more annoying, thing to lay in a room full of light pollution reflecting off all the snow outside your window into your bedroom so you are forced to lay in a room that's got a pita (Thank you Manababies for that term!) white glow shining in so you .::really::. cant sleep.

I have to agree with MoatesGarage that chocolate is better frozen. Mmm! Unless it's a caramel chocolate, then I like it warm so the caramel is gooey.

I haven't done much today except take care of the sick little one and switch from one set of pajamas into another set of pajamas. Pathetic!

I Was Surprised

I'm back home now and trying to get all situated again. The Holidays are EXHAUSTING, especially when you are traveling and don't have the comfort of your own bed to sink in to at night.

The day after Christmas, I had to run to the grocery store in my home town to pick up a few things in preparation for the New Year's party. I was so shocked to see every spec of Christmas stuff gone and the shelves to be plastered with V.a.l.e.n.t.i.n.e things! It was unreal. Poor Santa barely had his britches stuffed back up the chimney before Cupid was stabbing him in the ass with his arrow.

It's snowing today and lots of it. Seeing as how we've been gone for two weeks, the house has nothing in it. Well, had nothing in it. I bundled myself and the sick munchkin up in her snowsuit and we headed for the store to pick up a few items. Instead of walking to the grocery store though, we headed to the market up a few blocks. The wind and snow was awful, so I cut it short. Not to mention, I must have been quite a sight trying to push the bleeping stroller all over the streets. I honestly would have stayed on the sidewalk except no one seems to clear the sidewalks and the street cleaners pushed all the snow build up to the corners of the streets.

At one point in our walk, I gave up and took the stroller jogging down the middle of the street as if I was a car. Oh the looks I'm sure I got...especially from the policeman that I came head on with as he sat in his car wondering what the hell I was doing.

We made it home though and now I have food in the house and we got some lovely fresh frozen air into our lungs.

Snow makes me want to eat chocolate.