A Small Margarita, Please.

Last night, the three of us went out for Thai food. It was scrumptious. Just what I was in the mood for, even though it was my husband's idea because it was what he was in the mood for.

We walked to the restaurant and arrived just before a massive rainstorm hit. While we sipped our beer, entertained the little one, and nibbled our food - literally bucket sized raindrops fell from the green hued sky with lightning flickering in the background.

The waitress had remembered our daughter from months ago when we had visited, and was shocked to see how much she had grown. She, along with a few other members of the restaurant's staff, played endlessly with the munchkin. I've had unbelievable luck lately in regard to going out to restaurants.

I ate a noodle dish with shrimp and vegetables in a brown, garlic sauce. It was fantastic and of course, I ate it entirely only to wish that the magic food faeries would make more appear on my plate. My husband ordered a vegetarian dish with vegetables and tofu and steamed rice with some sort of sauce - it looked good really, but I was so into my own plate of food that I can't offer more details than that about his food.

“You know, it’s raining so hard. We may be forced to hang out at Starbucks for awhile before we walk home.” my husband says to me.

“I’m all up for Starbucks, but it’s just water…no harm in getting a little wet.”

Luckily though, just as we left the restaurant, the rain stopped.

We ventured to the Cigar/Pipe store for my husband. He smokes his cigars and pipe outside…

Instead of going into Starbucks, we decided to continue on our fun evening by going to the Mexican restaurant on the next block up.

We shared a Cadillac Margarita and Fried Ice Cream. Mmm! It was delish. I was so into the moment though that when the waitress brought the margarita, I anxiously waited watching my husband pour in the Grand Mariner, after which…I dove right in.

Mistake.

Stirring is an essential thing one must do after the shot is poured in.

I gasped as I realized I had nearly inhaled half the shot up the straw, because we hadn’t stirred the margarita very well. Yowza!

After that intense taste bud moment, I pretty much laid off the drink and let my husband work on it. I had bigger and better things to occupy my attention – Fried Ice Cream.

I did share with the little one and some with my husband. He saved the last bit of margarita for me as I surfaced from my ice cream stupor.

Apparently, while we were in having our drink and dessert, the sky had opened up again and poured to no end. But it had stopped for the duration of our walk home, and then unleashed as soon as we got home.

Strange how that happened really.

I headed to bed at a decent hour with the munchkin in tow and for the first time in a few days, I really slept.

I still feel tired today though, and unplugged from things. I’m sure it’s just the manifestation of stress.

So to keep with my stress habits, I made tortilla chips and baked cookies today. We’re having steak soft tacos and chips and Mexican Caesar Salad for dinner.

And more margaritas to wash it down. A small margarita though. I’m already feeling so tired, I don’t want to fall asleep at the dinner table!

Helping Out

Last night, I was busy trying to get myself ready for bed and my husband offered to help get the little one ready for bed to save me some effort and time.

I thought to myself, with a silent snicker, "Oh gooood...this should go over well..."

"It would be great if you could get the munchkin in her pajamas while I'm busy!" I say.

I hand my husband my daughter's pajamas, my daughter, and head out of the room.

In my mind, I was reflecting on how this scene usually goes for me:

Wild, squirmy, resistant baby.

Laughing and tossing and turning.

Running away and squealing.

The thing is, I didn't hear any of these noises coming from the bedroom.

And when I peeked my head in to see how the process was coming along, I saw my daughter, sitting peacefully, lifting up her foot to gently and easily place it into the matching leg of her pajamas.

So patient.

So helpful.

Just a sweet, "Daddy, I love you." smile on her face.

Unbelievable.

Hair - Long, Beautiful Hair

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I french braided the little one's hair this morning. It just barely stayed in place, but it's getting long enough to play with! I hate my hair messed with, but she doesn't seem to mind having hers played with too much.

She acted quite princess like with her hair done up. It makes me wonder what the years to come have in store for me.

An Oversight

My husband grilled ribs perfectly tonight. As I began to devour them, he says to me, "You know, you never take any pictures of anything I cook."

And he's right. I haven't. Sorry! I think I'm just usually toooo starving to stop and do it. It wasn't an intentional oversight.

So, I ran and snagged my camera and snapped a shot before I continued snarfing:



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They were awesome. I was ~starving~ tonight and realized before we sat down that I had forgotten to eat all day, except for the mocha frap I had this morning. I guess I just got too busy. Oops!

Beautiful Day

Today was beautiful. The weather perked up and ended up warmer and sunnier than I anticipated.

The little one and I had a picnic in the kitchen this morning while my husband slept in. I had a taste for french toast, so I whipped up a batch of it using organic, cracked wheat bread. Turned out very yummy.

I laid out a placemat and a couple cloth napkins on the hardwood floor. Set out a cup of soda for myself and the munchkin's cup of milk.

And there we sat having a picnic, in the middle of the kitchen with french toast. My daughter thought it was different and strange and fun. 'Ooo! Mommy is sitting on the floor with me with a plate of weird looking bread that's sweet with syrup and very much fun to poke my fingers in to!!'

And that is just what she did. While her cheeks were stuffed full of tasty morsels of syrupy french toast, she experimented with the remaining slices that I was eating. By the time she was done, my french toast looked like a new 'bread' version of swiss cheese.

Her hands were covered in sticky syrup. And while that seems quite messy, she was fascinated and I am not one who minds a bit of experimenting.

Then of course my daughter thought it was pretty neat that she could make sticky finger prints on the wood floor, and that it felt funny to touch the kitchen area rug with ultra sticky fingers.

Thank goodness for sponges and hot, soapy water is all I have to say.

The rest of today was spent relaxing.

We were invited to eat Easter dinner at two different friend's homes seeing as how we don't have any immediate family living near us, but we decided we'd have an Easter for three instead.

PETaPOTTY

This cracked me up entirely:

PETaPOTTY.

It's about as strange as having a stroller for your pet when you go on walks.

Which is being sold up the street from me.

Thank you design*sponge for bringing this product to light and giving me a good chuckle.

Catered To

My daughter was tickled pink at lunch today.

I met up with a girlfriend at a local Italian restaurant - casual and quiet.

The waiter we had was completely smitten with my daughter and the flirt that she is, gobbled up every bit of attention he tossed her way.

He brought her fresh dough to play with while we figured out what we wanted to order.

He brought her fresh baked bread to nibble on.

He brought her water in a cute 'kiddie' cup.

He held her hand and tapped her nose and made her laugh - she was nausiatingly sweet toward him and he loved it.

Every time she dropped her juice cup or a toy, he was right there picking it up.

Then he brought her vanilla ice cream.

Our dear waiter simply could not get enough of my little one. It was cute really.

And with her hair in a ponytail and her little denim jacket on with her pink pants...she acted like she knew she was the cat's meow.

Now she's fast asleep probably dreaming that she's Queen of some magical land.

Ponytail

The munchkin's hair is finally long enough to be worn in a ponytail and ~stay~ in a ponytail. It's just so adorable.

I had a rather strong drink last night which sent me to the Lala Land of Zzzs quite early. I'm not sure why the drink hit me so hard, but it did, and my husband got a good chuckle out of my behavior when he got home from work. Dinner still turned out really good though...whew!

I'm ~slowly~ starting on a new template. It's a project that will help me work through some of this stress. In addition, the yellow just isn't doing it for me any more. I don't feel in a yellowy, flowery mood.

But first, I need to get out for my walk, figure out what kind of masterpiece I'm going to cook for Good Friday dinner, and adoringly sip on a hot, steamy mocha.

And thank you for the emails. I appreciate each and every one of them.

Good Eats

Amazing!

I'm not complaining in the least, but I find it really strange that my daughter is fascinated with Alton Brown from the Food Network's show Good Eats. She's sat mesmerized, watching him talk.

I wonder what it is about him that she fancies.

Dizzy-Tired

I feel dizzy from being so tired.

My day was really nice with my girlfriends who actually ended up coming over to my house to create a few Easter cards with all my card making supplies. The little one didn't nap until nearly 4pm! I was shocked at this considering she woke up at 7am and was just happy happy right up until she zonked.

However, now I'm just dead tired and should try to sleep a bit while the munchkin sleeps so I can be pleasant when my husband gets home from work soon.

Collected

2am rolled around on the clock and naturally my eyes opened up and I laid there staring at the ceiling for a good, long while.

I was still feeling entirely full and sick, so I got out of bed and sipped half a glass of soda and sorted out my stress and nerves.

I'm feeling much more collected now. Sometimes stress can snowball and I think before I realized what was happening, that's what happened to me.

Maybe it was the bubbly carbonation, or the flavor wild cherry diet pepsi, or the fact that the house was so quiet at 2am while I drank it in sweet serenity, but when I finished off the last sip of my drink...I simply felt better.

And just for the record, I know I messed up and ate fries and that was a big Lenten boo-boo on me. I'll repent for that. Yesterday was just a freakazoid day for me - not that I should give excuses.

I'm meeting up with a few girlfriends in three hours for lunch, and the last thing I feel like looking at right now is ~food~. Bluurrrgh.

Mistake

Yes, I'm stressed out.

I eat when I'm stressed. I am so full now that it hurts.

Two loaded hot dogs.Two large orders of fries.A grilled chicken sandwich.A soda.Half a pitcher of beer.Two cupcakes.

While I'm eating I think it's going to help ease my stress.

Afterwards, I always feel like crying. I ache.

It's silly how my mind never seems to remember my same previous mistakes.

My husband used to say, back when we were in college, "It's a good thing you aren't going for your PhD...I'd really worry about you..."

LoS

Lack of Sleep

I'm fumbling this morning trying to get dressed, my hair brushed, and shoes on...oh yeah, and prep the little one...so we can get out the door and I can walk like a zombie toward the welcoming aroma of Starbucks.

My husband came to bed a little before 2am and I woke up to chat a bit with him.

And I wasn't able to get back to sleep.

Tossing and turning and endless thoughts.

The coffee better be extra potent this morning or I fear I'll fall flat on my face.

You Know...

One morning, years ago when my grandmother was still alive, she turned to me during breakfast with a genuinely concerned look on her face.

"You know, when a man eats too much pepper he becomes impotent, so don't let your boyfriend eat pepper."

I nearly choked on my food.

While on my walk this morning, I called my mother to check in on her and the family, and she presented the same genuine concern that I was met with so many years earlier by her mother.

"You know, you need to make sure you feed your husband lots of tomatoes to keep his prostate healthy."

Then boyfriend, now husband is all well and fine...thank you!

I.Just.Can't.Stop

I honestly can't stop watching The Food Network.

It's making me want to cook all the time. I want to create food masterpieces.

The sink is full of dirty dishes from my makings of lunch.

Mashed potatoes made from scratch. Low fat pork sausage sauteed in garlic and sliced sweet onions. Corn on the cob. Smooth brown gravy.

While not a fancy lunch, it was casual and home cooked and good.

I'll make a light dinner...possibly just salad and a freshly baked baguette.

When my husband and I first got married, I used to cook enough food to feed an army at every meal. I've gotten ~much~ better now and cook with very little food left over any more. It was hard for me to learn to do that. If I have to cook for more people than just my husband and myself, I still have a lot of problems figuring out just how much to make. I'm always concerned there won't be enough.

I still have nightmares about the Memorial Day party that Manababies had last year and the chopped salad that I brought. I didn't bother assembling the salad until I arrived at the party. I figured doubling the recipe would be a good idea. It was an embarrassing amount of salad.

But The Food Network has me itching endlessly to create, create, create!

I don't have a dishwasher, other than my own two hands though, so that is one major downside to my cooking.

Food is fabulous.

And There She Stood

All through life we are opening and closing doors...for ourselves, for others.

We wade through many different chapters, dance across pages of life that all lead to similar or different endings...endings that in one way or another bring us to a resting spot that's still and quiet.

It's the dancing we look back upon when the music stops.

An antique shop a couple blocks from my home closed it's doors about a year ago. My husband and I were going for an evening stroll and passed by it. Our walking path was altered slightly by an elderly couple standing outside the shop's doors.

Standing and staring. Peering at the door, and at each other. Jiggling their keys and slowly locking things up. It would be the last time they would be locking those doors.

You could tell they had invested a lifetime in their shop of antiques. Times change though, and it was obvious that the their time had come to move on from the shop. From the appearance of their age, I would guess that they were retiring.

I haven't given that antique shop or the elderly couple much thought beyond that moment. Until today.

I walked by that same shop this morning, which has been a convenience mart/news shop since the ownership changed.

At first glance it looked no different from any other day I walk past it.

Then I peered into the window. A woman standing there looking out caught my attention.

She looked devastated. Eyes filled with tears. Hands clutching her chest as if she were holding something very special up to her heart.

And then I recognized her. It was the wife of the elderly couple who had once owned this store.

Was she there remembering the times her and her husband shared in their antique store?

Was she there mourning the loss of her husband? Seeking out the comfort of a place where her and her husband had spent so many years 'dancing'?

As I walked by the news shop, there she stood...people coming and going around her as if time had stopped for her, and she was trying to find a quiet spot to find the memory of her past.

Pizza

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I sat and watched an hour of The Food Network this afternoon. They discussed pizza. Nonstop talk about pizza. It finally got to me and I went into the kitchen and rummaged up the best pizza I could to satisfy my undying crave for it.

Fried up a little proscuitto. Little mozzarella. Mixed up some quick dough. A little marinara with portabella mushrooms and caramelized onions. A little garlic. Baked it in a hot oven. It turned out pretty good.

Definately satisfied my desire.

Spring Peeking

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A little bit of purple peeking out to say, "Hi."

I bet it snows again though...I just bet it does.

~THE~ New Shoes

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I just adore my new shoes. So comfortable! So cute!

Allergies

I woke up this morning with my allergies acting up. I had plans of going out with a friend so I rummaged through my medicine cabinet to try to find the ~least~ drowsy medicine I could take. Benedryl was out of the question because that stuff knocks me out for a good 15 hours. That left two options, one of which I took because it said it would space it out over a 12 hour period of time.

It was nice outside, although now it looks like it's going to rain and rain heavily.

Despite all the caffiene I drank, I am now completely exhausted and at first I couldn't for the life of me figure out why. Now I remember that it has got to be because of the medicine I took. So.very.very.tired.

Before this exhaustion set in though, I did manage to purchase a new pair of shoes. Sporty and fun. Fashionable yet functional for having a toddler. I'm sure my husband wishes I was allergic to shoes.

It's mellow around the house right now. With grey skies and more clouds settling in, the hum of the computers, and the light snoring of the dog...I think I may curl up for a nap myself. My husband is reading with the tv on low in the background and the little one is fast asleep dreaming.

Now's my chance to catch up on some dreaming of my own. Zzz.

Most the Day

Today was sunny and nicer out than it has been the last couple of days. It was still chilly, but not terribly so.

I took the little one to the park for the first time and let her swing back and forth in the baby swing. She loved it. There were several other children playing and bossing each other around like little kids are so great at doing. It made me chuckle to stand there and listen to them go back and forth. Reminded me of my teaching days.

The next few hours were spent wandering around outside, grabbing a bite out for lunch, picking up some chocolates for some friends, and chitchat with passerbyers.

Then my husband came home shortly after I got home, spoiled me terribly by taking me out for a nice walk at the outside mall nearby and bought me a Coach coin purse and then took me out for a nice Italian dinner. I.am.so.stuffed.

I think my husband is trying to bring calmness to me by spoiling me right now since he knows I'm so stressed out about the uncertainty of our future with where we are living...will we stay...will we move...will we stay and move locally or not move at all....will we move far away....or really really far away....

Waiting is so.incredibly.hard.to.do.

I Still Need You

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The little one has an intense fascination with the old tv 'rabbit ears'. I almost feel like switching to cable has caused her some sort of distress. Poor thing drags the ears all over the place with her. It's like she is empathetic toward them since they are no longer needed.

"Don't worry little tv antennas...I still need you!" ~*snuggle snuggle*~

Should I be worried about this? ha!

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Chilled Pewter Steins

A little sliced salami. Some sliced cheddar cheese. Freshly made baguettes sliced thin. Salad tossed with sliced steak, sliced tomato, carrot slivers, crumbled blue cheese, sweetened dried cranberries, and candied pecans....dressed with a balsamic vinaigrette. Dinner was simple and tasty. I had also put a couple of our pewter steins in the freezer to chill for our beer that complimented the meal well.

Our moving plans are now back up in the air of possible opportunities. So I'm back to wondering where life will take us. Where our adventure is destined to go.

My mind is racing. Sleep will be sparse tonight.

On a separate note, a girlfriend of mine that I haven't seen in a long long while gave me a call tonight.

"Oh my gosh, it's SOO good to hear your voice! I miss you and can't wait to see you!"

Funny thing is, I emailed her a couple days ago and I thought she was calling in response to that. She didn't get the email though. We must have been on the same wave length. I'll be seeing her on Wednesday with a few of my other girlfriends.

Time flies by and it's not until someone calls that you haven't talked to in awhile that you realize just how fast it's flying.

And the little one's new favorite thing to do in the world is grab ahold of my lit up mouse and click, click, clickclickclickclick CLICK C-L-I-C-K like mad. And then if anyone goes near her to retrieve it and rescue my poor pc from the torture, she squeals loudly in delight.

My mind is all over the place tonight. Sleep is definately going to be sparse.

Don't

After I got the new cable modem all hooked up and then unhooked and then hooked back up to the router and got both computers back online, I noticed that the connection was s-l-oooooooo-w! So I ran a couple tests on the speed and while Comcast guaranteed me 4mb download, I was getting... 59kbps!

Ok, I just canceled my land line. Ditched DSL. FOR THIS!!?!?

So naturally I'm ticked off and my husband, who doesn't want to deal with it nor call about it, is ticked off.

I pick up the phone and dial the company.

"We are experiencing a large volume of calls. Your call is important to us. Please stay on the line."

I finally get through to tech support, and it's a young woman who clearly doesn't know what she's doing in tech support but that she was put there because they were experiencing a large volume of calls.

I ask her if there were known problems with the area. She checks and agrees that there's a noticeable amount of lost activity. Well duh. 59kbps < 4mb.

"Well, okayyy" I say, "So will this be worked on then?"

"I want to clean up your browser because that will cause you delay."

Give me a ~BREAK~!

"Uh, no we aren't going to go in and clean up my files or my broswer. That's all clean. (I do keep my pc running clean and not bogged down - personal thing there) So what are you going to do about the problem that Comcast is having?"

"Well, a lot of people have to call in to say there's a problem and THEN it will be looked at."

"Excuse me? We just confirmed that there was a problem. I'm not interested in sitting at home with a horrible connection and waiting for a lot of people to call in to Comcast to tell you the same thing we just confirmed."

"Ok, I will put it in the system that there is a possible outtage and then it will be looked in to."

"Thank you." *~grumble grumble~*

I mean really, you're going to tell me that you can noticeably see activity problems and then tell me it's because I have too many browser files saved?

The sad thing is, she probably wasted a TON of other people's time by having them go in to their browser options and fiddle faddle with all that balogna and just to say, "Oh Comcast is having problems, let me put your information into the system as a problem to be looked at."

This morning connectivity seems to be where it should be at though.

Ooo! And! I watched part of the Iron Chef last night! It comes on so darn late...a definately good reason to get TiVo! I'll have to wait on that though.

The ~mystery items~ were Giant Lobsters!! And goodness gracious, they were HUGE! Each one costing about $400 a piece! Salt and a little drawn butter.... Mmmm.

Our Eyes Met and We Remembered

I now have cable!

The doorbell rang right at one o'clock! This in itself was amazing. You know whenever you put in a service call they give you an appointment window of four hours typically. Eight o'clock to noon, or one o'clock to five. But then they never show up until the very.last.minute of your service window...or even a little late. I chose the latter window as my husband isn't a morning person.

The service guy came right at one. W-o-w.

I opened the door to welcome him into my home, and as our eyes met we both realized....

...he had been the last technician to come out to my house when I was ~trying~ to get the job done properly before. He was the one that I was very cranky toward. He was the one who probably swore at me up one side and down the other under his breath as I booted him from my house because I was sick and tired of all the excuses and lies the cable company had been giving me.

In all fairness, it wasn't this guy's fault before. But I was irritated enough to treat him like it had been. Poor guy.

But today's job entailed not anywhere near the same amount of work, so it went smoothly.

The most difficult part of it all was the fact that my little darling daughter felt that she had been born into this world with an expert's knowledge of wires and cables and she wanted to ~help~ with everything.

The guy was nice though and said he had two daughters of his own. He was warm and sweet and friendly toward my daughter. In all honesty, he was probably just concerned that I'd turn into psycho-freakazoid-lady again. Must.keep.this.lady.calm.

I haven't had cable in years!! This is exciting!

I'm Calling About Your House For Sale

My husband calls me today on his new cell phone. He calls our land line, as it's still working for another couple of days.

"Hi, I'm calling about your house for sale..."

I am thinking, 'He thinks I don't recognize his new cell number and he's playing with me...'

"My house for sale...?"

"Yes, your house for sale."

"My house isn't for sale."

"It isn't??" (He sounds very confused like he's sitting in the car outside a house for sale and he just dialed the number on the sign.)

Now I'm laughing.

"No, it's not for sale."

At the sound of my laughing my husband gets a bit distracted.

"Who is this? Is this xxx-xxxx?"

"No, this is your wife and you called the house."

"My wife?...~insert real name here~??? This is you??"

Laughing quite hard now.

"Yes, it's ME!!"

"Well, that's so weird! Honestly! I didn't dial the house number. And I almost asked if your Mommy was there because you sounded like a little kid!"

Life is never dull for me, I swear.

Hooked Up and Hungry

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We got our new cell phones yesterday. His and Her. It was painless and the woman who helped us get it all set up was wonderful - down to earth, realistic, didn't play any games.

Afterwards we were hungry and my husband had a taste for hotdogs. We walked home from the Cingular Store and hopped in the car. We just decided to drive down the main street..."Let's head south. We're bound to find something sooner or later!"

And sure enough, not many minutes later, we passed a hotdog + miscellaneous type restaurant/dive. After some persuasion, I talked my husband into just giving the place a try.

"C'mon! It can't be ~that~ bad!"

"Uh but what about ~that~ restaurant (he points to one a little further down and more established looking)...or ~that~ one, or ~that~?"

"C'mon!"

"Okay okay."

So in we went, and wow it was sooo clean and had clean high chairs and cozy intimate booths! It wasn't at all how I expected. And my husband was thankful that it wasn't what he had expected either.

The prices were more than reasonable and the food was great.

You can get four Chicago Style hot dogs (100% beef hot dog, mustard, diced onions, relish, dill pickle slice, sliced tomatoes, hot peppers, and celery salt), two LARGE bags of fries (made fresh with the skins still on some of the ends), two 24oz sodas for 8 dollars!....AND...for 5 dollars more we could have added a pitcher of beer!

~five bucks for a pitcher of beer~

My husband and I had to laugh! The service was outstanding. Friendly. And when we told them they were out of ketchup at their condiment station, they immediately gave us ketchup packets so we wouldn't have to wait for them to fill the dispenser.

I know it's just a little food dive that I'm more thrilled about than I probably should be...but sometimes it's the little things in life that can make you smile the most.

The Magical Touch

I woke up this morning to a really cold house. I'm not sure what the deal is, but our furnace is so extremely tempermental! I don't know what my husband does, but he goes down into the basement and voila! it's working again.

Thank You!

Once heat started pouring back into the house, I turned on the stereo and made my delicious Thai Coffee. It's so sweet and full of coffee yumminess...my husband definately will be happy when he wakes up from his nap.

And oddly enough, the little one is contently playing with her toys all by herself.

The house is so quiet.

Back At It Again

So, I gave in.

For those of my readers who followed my previous blog, you know the problems I had with trying to get cable tv and internet in my house. For my new readers, let me just give you a brief recap:

~eight different techs came to my house

each one didn't want to do the job of installing new jacks

it got ugly

lots of crankiness

finally gave up

But now that several months have passed and I am feeling more collected and civil, and that I've rethought things and decided that I'll just use the existing cable outlets instead of having new ones installed in different, better locations in my house...

I'm getting cable! Cable tv....just basic, but that means no more bunny ears! and about 75 glorious channels to surf! Personally, I love watching Discover Channel, TLC, and The Food Network. My husband will be thrilled to have The History Channel and The Cartoon Network. Yay!

And oh the cable internet connection will be soooo nice too!! Right now our DSL connection is stinky. I'm just thrilled.

That's all happening on the 15th...this.coming.Tuesday!

Then! Seeing as how I don't need the land line any more really...since we all know how I hate the phone...

~*laughs like a mad scientist*~ I'm getting rid of it!!

We're going totally cellular! His and Her phones. While it's definately not a new idea, it still feels so fancy schmancy!! And I'm excited about it.

And seeing as how I'm so excited about it, I think my real problem lies with land line phones and not phones entirely. I do like my cell phone. And I'll love it more when I have my own and my husband has his own and that the minutes between our phones don't count so I can call him up and say "Hi!" 800 times in a row if I like and it's FREE within our plan!

However, if I did that, somehow I don't think my husband would be very happy with me.

But! That's not the point...the point is...I could do it if I wanted to...from anywhere in the nation!

Oh yeah, but we don't have the cell phones yet. Maybe this weekend we'll get them!

I'll Listen For You Forever

During my first two years of college, I came home every weekend to see my family. College campus was only an hour away, and it was important to me to come home and visit my family, mainly my grandmother.

When my grandfather passed away shortly after my 13th birthday, my grandmother was left ...I'm not sure there's a word to describe that kind of devastation. They had been a couple since they were 16. The best of friends, companions, life partners. That said, we did what family should do in times of great need. We invited her to live with us.

We sorted through a lifetime of belongings, sold the house I spent so many years growing up in, and did our best to make my grandmother comfortable in her new 11 x 11 living space in our house with attached half bath.

It was wonderful having one of the most important women in my life living with us...no longer did I have to 'visit' grandma...she was down the hall all.the.time. Albeit without my grandfather, but I tried not to think about that as much as I could help it.

During the first year of my high school years, my grandmother had a stroke. It was out of the blue and unexpected - like anyone goes around expecting something like that to happen?

It was then that the doctors discovered that my grandmother had an anneurism. An inoperable one at that.

The doctors were surprised that my grandmother had survived the birthing of two children.

But with that information, we knew there would be more strokes to come and a handful of medications and that this anneurism would take her life some day.

There indeed were more strokes during the duration of my high school years. Strokes that gave her double vision and made her walking unsteady.

She was a very dignified and proud lady. She never complained and worked hard at not inconveniencing others. And while never an inconvenience, she did need assistance.

All of this played a role as to why I traveled home each and every weekend during the start of my college years.

One weekend, my grandmother had slept later than usual. At the time she had the lower level of the house as an apartment for herself (We had moved over the years and now were in a much larger home.). As I sat in my room whose door met the top of the stairs that lead to my grandmother's quarters, I heard a faint tap...tap...tap... on her door at the bottom of the stairs.

My mind put two and two together...the late hour of the morning, the lack of my grandmother being up and busy around the house, and then this tap tap tapping...and I went down the stairs to check on her.

My grandmother had tried her best to drag herself to the door and had been tapping for a few hours to try to get our help as she had had a stroke and couldn't walk...and her speech was slurred somewhat.

I called for help and we were able to get her to the hospital where she went through several tests and began another bout of rehabilitation.

From that moment on, I never slept the same. I was always on edge waiting and listening in case my grandmother needed me. The thought of her having waited for hours for help tormented my mind and was solidified with the memory of the look on her face of both exhaustion from tapping so long and the thankfulness that I had finally come and found her.

Softly she sleeps... became me.

Time passed and I changed colleges. My husband, then boyfriend, well understood my grandmother's situation and also how much I valued her. We were now living too far to go home every weekend, but we did go home on a regular basis. I was unable to go home one weekend, due to school demands, and my husband knew I was bothered by the fact that my grandmother had not seen where I was currently living and how much I missed her. Being a nice boyfriend, he drove home three hours, picked up my grandmother, and drove three hours back to where we were living just so my grandmother could spend the weekend with us. Then three hours each way bringing her back home. I will be forever thankful for that.

The next time we went home, during the still of the night, I quickly awoke to the sound of my grandmother unsteady from her double vision and the coming on of a new stroke, yet again. She pulled 6 shelves and their contents down upon her while trying to use the washroom during the middle of the night.

Her biggest concern was that she had made a cluttery mess of all the things that had fallen off the shelves. That was not a concern of mine at all. I helped her up and freed her from all the fallen bars of soaps and bathroom toiletries. Got her back into bed, and then got myself back into my own bed.

The next day would be another day she slept in. Later than usual. And without hesitation I checked on her. There she laid in her bed, eyes open and blinking, with very slurred speech as she had had another serious stroke and was unable to move at all...

I called my mother for help and we dressed my grandmother, as any proper lady would want to be dressed, and called for the ambulance to pick her up. This time we were living much further from the hospital and it was wisest for us to have an ambulance pick her up.

This would be the last time that she was at the house. And as she was carried off by the paramedics, and we stood on the porch watching before we hopped into our own vehicle, we heard her say with a swing of her arm, "...and I had such a beautiful singing voice too..." The paramedics gave a look of, ~awww~... but my grandmother couldn't carry a tune for the life of her.. even well before she had any strokes... and as with most things in my family, tradegy is met with comedy.

But last night my husband tripped over the babygate. That noise, while not loud, especially with the noisy fan going in our bedroom, jolted my memory of the past. My grandmother has been passed for about a decade now. And yet, I can be pulled from a sleep into having tachycardia and be ready to act....I'm awake! Let me help...What do you need???... so many years later in a second's time.

It took me a long time to relax again enough where I could drift back off to sleep last night.

I guess I'll always listen for my grandmother...for the sounds of her needing me.

YUCK!

I opened up the blinds in my computer room just now to face the brightness peeking through letting me know it was time to start my day for real and...

It's snowing outside.

Really snowing.

That's the last thing I wanted to see when I lifted those blinds.

And it's windy.

Lot's of icky snow.

Yuck.

Sketching and Skreaming

Copyright Insanity Infusion

I had about an hour to myself today at Starbucks while the little one napped in her stroller. I had brought along my sketch book. It was fun to doodle for a bit while I sipped my mocha.

Before the little one fell asleep, she was in such a hyper, good mood! She must have definately been sucking the caffeine out of the air. She kept screaming and screeching and then whenever anyone nearby would laugh, she'd turn to them and do her loud, fake laugh mimicking them. Then of course, they'd stop laughing and look at me like I was strange!

I found out today, through chit chat, that the bakery/deli that I really liked up the street has gone belly up. They fired their baker (bad baker - shame on you!), then they switched to a deli and just after hiring a new baker, they had a fire. They just couldn't recover from that. Sad really. They were such nice owners.

But!

I also found out that just two blocks away from my house Williams-Sonoma is moving in! How exciting!

Internet Junkie

Copyright Insanity Infusion

You know you're on the internet too much when...

The nutrition label of your snack reads, 'Cholest 0mg', and you immediately think, "0h my gawd!"

Aloha Me Happy!

Copyright Insanity Infusion

I got a nice surprise in the mail today. A Hawaiian Starbucks card.

Thank you!

And, it's not just any ordinary card...you can only get this card in Hawaii!

Or eBay. Some people have sold theirs for over twenty dollars - with no money on it!

Apparently, Starbucks Coffee cards are collector's items? Whodathunkit.

My card is nestled away, napping peacefully, in my wallet.. until I take it on an adventure tomorrow to the coffee shop.

I'm spoiled and I love it! ♥

It's Been Too Long

Copyright Insanity Infusion

This morning I picked up a new plant for my computer area. Purple little flowers, nice green leaves, fragrant...Caribbean Lily. It really spruces up my desk, but I worry it won't live very long because the light in this room isn't good enough for it's needs.

I got to talking with The Artful Blogger today about how we should hook up for lunch when she's in my area. It would be fun to finally chat in person, while eating lunch!...and even more fun if Manababies came as well.

On this path of thinking, I realized that the last time Manababies and I got together it was...for Halloween!!! How sad is that?

We need to get together! :)

Absolutely Artsy

Copyright pixy

There's a wave of artsy feelings sweeping over the blogosphere it seems. I'm loving feeling so 'in tune' with my creative side. (Which actually takes up most of who I am, so when I'm not 'one' with my creativity, I end up feeling really blah.)

I came across a fantastic website that lets you play with a color wheel to figure out nice compliments of color for web design. It gives you all the color codes as well.

From pastels, to dark pastels, to light pastels, to regular colors, and pales...it gives you all sorts of color families and you can switch it all with one click of the mouse on the color wheel.

I think it's pretty darn cool.

You can check it out -->HERE<--

These Feet Were Made For Walking

Copyright Insanity Infusion

Today was AWESOME outside!

I napped.

I took a long, hot shower while my husband took care of the munchkin. I used my new razor, which is ENTIRELY amazing. (If you're looking for a new razor to shave with...this one is the best!)

I painted my toe nails.

I blew dry my hair and put on make up.

All uninterrupted.

Then my husband and I took the little one out for a walk in the beautiful, warm weather.

No coats. No hats. No layers.

I got an absolutely divine mocha with caffeine from Starbucks.

We toured an open house condo.

We walked for two hours out in the sunny, warm air. It just smelled like spring. So many people were out walking and having a good time. The air was buzzing with energy.

It was so nice to walk and talk.

The baby was in a good mood too. She kept shaking her head when the wind would whip through her hair. It was if she was pretending she was doing a shampoo commercial and showing the camera how bouncy and full of life her hair is now that she's using x shampoo. Made for a good laugh. She also mimicked a dog's bark as we passed him by. The dog barked...she barked back.

Heck, I didn't even bother wearing socks outside today.

We chatted in our backyard with our neighbor about all the new developments that are starting up around our house...

Drank a beer and a margarita...

Our tenants were outside grilling as well...

We had grilled, barbeque, pork ribs and baked potatoes and salad for dinner.

Mmm.

I know tomorrow it's supposed to be cold again...but for today, I had such a wonderful time outside breathing in the springy air.

Excuse Me While I Drop Everything

Copyright...

Yesterday, I needed to walk to the Post Office to pick up some stamps for mailing bills, and to mail my daughter's first birthday party cards.

Stamps are a serious purchase to me. I typically stick to a classic look of an American flag or something of the sort.

I'm sure there's more people than not that don't bother looking at the stamps that are used to mail things, but I'm a looker. And I wonder what makes people buy one particular design over another. Unless a portion of the cost is going to benefit a charity or fund or rare collector's edition, they all cost the same.

What makes a person pick what they pick?

So, I perused all the options and ended up with the two designs at the top of this post. The Disney stamps, I figured, were perfect for my daughter's cards, and then the flowers...well, it's obvious where my head has been lately so those stamps are entirely fitting. I even picked up two booklets of the flower stamps.

And then there I was, stamps in hand, committment to design made, and it was time to purchase. I'm not sure why, but suddenly I simply couldn't keep ahold of anything.

I handed the man (he was old - so don't go there) my Mastercard, which fell from my fingers before he could grab it. He put my stamps in a bag, and rested it upon my purse...but as I moved my purse to grab the bag of stamps, the bag slipped and nearly knocked all the man's postal papers off his desk. Then, I needed to sign my charge slip, but that was delayed because I dropped the pen that I was using to sign my name. After he returned my card, I went to put it back into my wallet, but I dropped that onto the floor. And nearly dropped the bag of stamps as well.

At this point I'm laughing because it looks like I'm doing it on purpose.

"Ack! I'm so sorry! Apparently my fingers aren't working right now!" I say with an embarrassed glow about me.

"You're fine...you're fine..." the old man says.

And I push the stroller to leave the area only to have it get hung up on the shoplifting detector railings.

"Ack! I'm leaving! I'm going home and am going to try getting out of bed on the ~other~ side!"

"You're fine..."

And then the shoplifting detector starts DING DING DINGing!

"Ack!!" I whimper out a third time as I stop and turn back to the old man with a look of desperation on my face as I certainly had not stolen anything.

"You're fine...you're fine..." and he waves me on my way.

Good thing the place was empty!

My Feet Have Spring Fever

Copyright...

My new Coach catalog arrived. I've never ordered anything out of it, but I always see a lot of "o.m.g.I.really.want.this!" stuff.

These shoes are amazing. Match them with a sundress or capris with a soft, sweater set and some sweet, delicate jewelry on sun-kissed skin...

I'm dying here! G.i.m.m.e!

Spring/Summer... come out - come out - wherever you are!

A Disturbing Little Pig

Copyright Insanity Infusion

On our morning adventure today, I came across some cute blocks for the little one. At the time, I didn't notice much more than the fact that they looked like cute animals within the box they were packaged in. When we got home, I unwrapped them and soon discovered this disturbing, little pig block.

Is it just me? or is the fact that the block has small, round, brown balls floating about the feet of this barnyard animal just gross?

I mean really...what did they think we'd think it was? Little balls of pig mud?

I.don't.think.so.

Bye Bye Blue

The blue just wasn't doing it for me. So the blue is ~out~!

This feels so much ~more~ springy to me.

I'll Drink To That

You gotta love a man who makes you a salt rimmed margarita and hands it to you when you tell him you've got a headache. A personally delivered margarita. After he brings home soda. And dinner.

Cheers!

Drawing What's On Your Mind

One of the previous post's comments reminded me of a story from when I was going to college.

It was mid semester and I was up to my elbows in art supplies. While, as a class, we used all sorts of medias of art, my favorite was sketching with a tablet and a regular old pencil.

I carried a sketch book nearly everywhere I went. From relaxing at home, to sitting in my yard, to going for walks late at night to walks early in the morning...my sketch book went where I went.

My art professor made plans with a few of us students to go to the Art Museum for the day...to talk about pieces, our interpretations, likes, dislikes...basically just to soak up as much creative air as we could.

I sat in the common lounge/study area that was centrally located on campus waiting for a few other students and my professor to arrive before we headed out collectively in a couple vehicles.

And naturally, to help the time pass, I took out my sketch book started drawing what was on my mind.

Fruit.

Large pieces of fruit.

So that's what I drew. A pear, an apple, grapes, an orange...

Closed up my sketch book as my professor arrived and we all headed out to the Art Museum.

As we arrived on the second floor...there in front of us was a display of blown glass.

A large, blown glass display of...well, large fruit.

My sketch matched the display nearly exactly right down to the types and order of fruit.

My professor was a bit shocked as he looked at the sketch and then at the display and then back to my sketch and then back to the display...

I can't explain it.

How weird is that?

Inspiring

The Artful Blogger inspires me.

I feel motivated to start a project of my own.

So many choices...so little time!

FREE Ice Cream!!-No Joke!

Today is Yahoo's 10th birthday.

To thank their members and in celebration of their ten years going, they are giving away one scoop of Baskin-Robins ice cream TODAY (and only today).

You just need to sign in with your Yahoo login and password and then print out your coupon for a free scoop!

Mmmm!

[I bet you could even sign up for a free account today and still get a coupon for a free scoop of ice cream!]

Click -->HERE<-- to go right to the spot!

An Hour To Wait

I just finished kneeding the dough for the pretzels I've been trying to make for what seems like forever now.

It needs to rise for an hour before I start on the next step of rolling and shaping and and and...

And I sit here with a head full of thoughts...

~about how I don't appreciate the friends that are always there for me...

~and question why other friends stick around as they don't seem all that supportive like a true friend should be...or that they even really care...

~about why people give input on things when I believe they truly are just doing it to stir things up...

~about why people hold grudges...

~about forgiveness and why it's such a hard thing to give...

~about why saving face is more important than being a genuine, caring human being...

~about how instant bread yeast is different from regular bread yeast...

~about ...do I really need to go on?

My head is full. And I have a little less than an hour to ponder it all until I'm off to let my mind be distracted with the making of pretzels.

Life On Simmer

My mother in law has flown home. The day is winding down. I think I'm going to make a drink for myself and my husband and just sit and relax.

Life is always about go..go..go and if I had the ability to stop time, I would.

It would be nice to just simmer a bit and take in all the the things I know I need to but because of x, y, and z...I don't. My husband doesn't. The world doesn't.

It would be nice to take the weight of all pending stresses and worries off the mind and set it aside and just exist in a free, almost mindless moment where there is nothing but what is at hand.

So Long

I've decided to delete my photo blog. In fact, it's already been deleted.

I am keeping my work private right now while I work on putting my shots into a portfolio. Whether I keep them private indefinately or not, I haven't decided.

I may post a shot now and again on the main blog here.

And just because I'm not posting work, doesn't mean I'm not out there snapping like a wild woman every.single.day!

Thanks for all your wonderful compliments on my photographs, Internet. Wish me luck in seeing off any new developments!

What To Do What To Do

So I'm exhausted. Late night last night...followed by inconsistent, restless sleeping... followed by an early start of 620am ...BLEH!

So, now I'm thinking about finally trying to make the soft pretzels that I've been interested in making. Lots of work involved though...

But watching a movie on the couch seems appealing too.

Finishing off the birthday cake seems appealing as well.

Napping seems REAL appealing.

N a p p i n g ....

....
...
..
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ZZzzzzZZzzzz...