Paper Bag Ugly

So I needed..I mean ~needed~ soda. At the tail end of a nice walk out with my two side kicks-baby + stroller, we headed toward the convenience mart just a few blocks from my home.

The market's doors are covered with a larger than life picture of two icy milkshake looking drinks with gobs of whipcream on top...honestly, I could have bathed in it had it been a real shake in front of me. It was huge and looked simply heavenly.

So naturally, after standing under the air conditioning vent for a few moments to cool down from the blazing sun that had been beating down on me in my black shirt (remind me again why I chose a black shirt on a HOT day...)..I headed right to the freezer to scope out the pints of ice cream. Mmmm...ice....cream. Sigh.

I was good though and just looked. I didn't even open the door of the freezer to feel the whoosh of chilled air brush against me. I figured that would just be a temptation I didn't need, not to mention it's harder to hear the ice cream whisper, "take me home...take me home..." if the door is closed.

I refocused my mental energies and strolled further to the cold beverages area.

[Can you see a theme here?...I'm reflecting heavily on the ~cold~...it's a freaking oven in my house right now.]

I grabbed some soda and (sigh) perused the candy isle. The harder I try to eat better, the worse I eat! There's a small line at the register so I took my spot for waiting.

An old gentleman turned to myself after being rung up and waved a paper bag at me. I looked at him quizzically. He wagged the bag some more, smiling and mummbling something along the lines of putting the bag on my daughter. Um.no.I.dont.think.so.

So I smiled at him and said sweetly, "She's sleeping." Truth. She was. And I must have given him that motherly look of YOU.WAKE.HER.AND.I.KILL.YOU. because he then turned to me and smushed the paper bag onto ME instead! He stuck it on the top of my head like a hat. Some.random.person.stuck.a.bag.on.my.head!

I'm thinking he was either telling me I'm 'paper bag ugly' (So ugly a paper bag over my head improves my looks...) or he was drunk.

The guy at the register thought the latter.