Elephants In Grocery Bags

So I was reading this post today and it made me think of a story from when I was teaching on the west coast.

I was a third grade teacher at the time teaching in one of the best school districts in the nation. So with a reputation like that, a lot of mothers that came in to help out carried an air about them that was snobby and mightier than thou.

So this one day, I was in the copy room with one of the helper moms and several other staff members along with my administrator. This one mom in particular had a severe reputation for being quite prissy and hoity toity (is that how you even spell hoity toity...anyways)...

I had listened to her go on and on for a good ten minutes when my ears were going to start bleeding if I had to hear one more pathetically gooey and sugary word spew from her mouth.

So I smile at her and begin with an old joke I had heard years before, "So Mrs. So-N-So, how do you fit an elephant into a Safeway bag?" [Safeway is a grocery store in the United States for those who are unfamiliar.]

Of course being the social nature teachers are, everyone within earshot listened in.

The mother pauses and says, "I don't know. How?"

I reply, "What? You don't know? C'mon, think about it..."

She ponders for a bit and insists again that she doesn't know, so I repeat the question.

"How do you fit an elephant into a Safeway bag?"

"Tell me, I really don't know!"

"Well, you take the F out of way."

There's a long pause followed by, "The F out of way???"

"Yeah, you simply take the F out of way."

And I couldn't have planned it any better. The mother in her most prissy and snotty tone in a rather loud know-it-all voice belted out for the whole area to hear...with a severe look of --Well DUHHH!-- strewn across her face..

"THERE IS NO F IN WAY!"

And calmly, I answer, "Exactly."

The poor woman's face turned as red as a strawberry and all those that were listening howled until they hurt.

I did feel a little guilty, but the woman had it coming to her.

And then my administrator said, "Hmm, I don't get it..." and he picked up a pen and paper and sat down to write it out.