Unconscious Mutterings -Catch Up From Yesterday

1. Long distance:: telephone call
   
2. Meant to be:: love
   
3. Here:: and now
   
4. Endless:: exhaustion
   
5. Resentment:: always comparing
   
6. Insipid:: social life
   
7. Bunny:: hop
   
8. Slogan:: Milk. It Does A Body Good.
   
9. Naked:: ugly
   
10. Sarcasm:: with a twist of truth
    

Monday's Weigh-In

Scale reads: 143 lbs.

And It Went Something Like This

"Can you believe you brought her into this world? Your second baby girl..."

"Yeah, crazy isn't it?"

"You know, you made her have to face death..."

"...I also gave her life..."

"...well, death... and taxes."

"Thanks for pointing that out."

Tragic

Well, I learned my lesson. Don't trust programs or site features that you aren't totally sure about...AND... always back up your template RIGHT AFTER YOU FINISH making it.

I trusted. I didn't back up.

I tried to "Blog This" with a photo in Flickr and POOF it erased my template.

My savior, John (SockJohn I suppose even though I don't know that relation...), had a backup of my template!! He's always been someone I can count on 100%. Thank you ^*!

I've got company now and not sure when I'll have the time to fix the template... needs some fiddle faddling. Hopefully soon.

I about cried yesterday though when I saw that my entire blog vanished... Thanks again John - You're one in a million! One in a million dorks, but still one in a million! >wink<

A Bit of Dagra

Darkness abounds-

Cool and sleek-

Prancing and prodding-

Fearless sneak-

Silently slithering-

Moving in on her kill-

Cold hearted; Black heart-

Hate her only will-

Plotting and Planning-

Victims’ misfortune-

Pockets vacant; Dreams disturbed-

Paying homage to the evils.



Reaching for pain-

Pushing away pleasure-

Destruction and devastation-

Making life sweeter then Hell-

Overwhelmed and drown in despondency-

Bringing a grimace of delight-

Seeking the sound of a last breath-

The horror of a death cry-

The scream for mercy to be granted-

Left without~

A welcome of torture-

Mind and soul-

Never-ending…

Eternal…

Timeless…

Forever in blissful misery.


[This poem was written about a rogue character I used to roleplay. She was ruthless and fearless.]

Insanity Infusion From Yesteryear

1. The Mother & Me, 2. Prom Senior Year, 3. Itty Bitty Me, 4. Little Me, 5. Christmas In College, 6. Messy Bookcase, 7. Living Room, 8. Pumpkins For Halloween In College, 9. College Me, 10. At The Park, 11. Sick In DC, 12. Disney World, 13. Free Climbing At The Beach, 14. Crater Lake In College, 15. Relaxing At Home In College, 16. High School Graduation, 17. High School With A Friend's Dog, 18. At The Coast With A Friend

Disturbing

Yesterday I started school with my oldest daughter. Just her and me time at the dining room table where we focus on learning...reading and activities of some kind. We worked on the letter d sound and read a couple stories about dogs. We worked on recognizing the letter Dd and saying the sound ~d~ makes. Considering she's just 23 months old, I think she did pretty darn well.

I'm going to be posting the worksheets I create HERE. So if any of you care to download them as I put them up, go right ahead and do it. There's not a lot of space available there, so I may take down and put up as space permits. There's a Message area there should you feel so inclined to yammer. Nothing spectacular, but enjoy nevertheless!

Anyways...

The story we read was cute. It was called 'The Last Puppy'. It was about a little dog who was sad because he was always last. Last to be born. Last to get his puppy milk. Last to be taken to a new home. And in the end, after all his brothers and sisters were gone, he finally was taken home and given to a little boy who said, "You are my first puppy." Awww cute.

BUT!

For some reason, the illustrator of the story chose the following picture as it's cover art...apparently it was REALLY important that every understands this puppy was BORN last...and the person also gave the mommy dog a buttcrack too...ew.



But here was the masterpiece my little one created during "school"...the fantastic completion of her very first worksheet:

Pardon Your Stinky Funk

I am never one who really likes crowds. I usually avoid them if I can. I don't like the jam packed pubs. Or the movie times where everyone and their third cousin goes to (excluding Star Wars and LOTR releases). I don't like things or places that are overly hyped about (with the occassional exception). In fact, to this day, I still haven't drank a sip of Snapple because it superly annoyed me how AWESOME and AMAZING and NECTAR of the GODS everyone thought it was when it first came out.

But I'm tangenting off...crowds. I don't like them.

We went to Costco yesterday to pick up a few essentials: soda, diapers, beer. Or should I rank order them for desire: BEER, soda, diapers.

It was such a busy place. All registers had lines as long as (what looks like) the Great Wall of China. Tons of carts all over. Bunches of clueless people not knowing what they wanted to buy, and who refused to keep their cart to the side of isles - its.easier.to.peruse. all.items.from.the.center!

But the two things that really bugged me and confirmed my distaste for crowds were the following:

(And I'll number them, because as a friend of mine points out - you mean business when you do that.)

1.

I think I've blogged on this before, but let me just go ahead and discuss it again. Walkers and Walker-Watchers. There are people who just walk around oblivious as to where other people are walking. They walk where they want without a disruption in their path. Then there are the people who look out for the oblivious ones. They reroute themselves in order to keep the motion of people undisturbed. To prevent the clashes and crashes and keep traffic smooth. I am someone who moves out of the way for others. I reroute. And most the time when I'm out I don't pay attention to this side of the fence that I reside on. But when it's crowded, it comes in to full focus. And the longer I stay within the crowd, the more apparent it becomes to me. Until I get to the very point when I refuse to move. I bite my tongue and hold my ground with the entire intention to keep my path. And still, at the very moment before disasterous contact would be made, I cave and move. The next few moments are spent with me kicking myself, "You big dummy! You moved! What kind of "Walker" are you EXACTLY!?"...
So then I decided as I rounded one isle and was strolling down a main passageway, that the next time I most certainly would.not.reroute. And you know what? You know what happened?? We crashed. I let the woman crash right in to me. Of course the crash was followed by an embarassed apology by the woman, but that just goes to show you...Walkers will always be Walkers...right down the >>>>>KABLAM<<<<< of the carts.

2.

FLATULENCE
Why is it when people are in crowds they think it's okay to just let 'em rip? It's nasty and my good gawd, there were some people in Costco yesterday that really need to seek some medical help to clean out their intestines. From one cloud to another...it was a toxic air epidemic. I would have gasped for air had I not thought I would have choked and gagged on the stinky thickness of it. Gross.

And in addition to all that, three little old ladies found my littlest munchkin to be absolutely precious (well duh of course she is! ;)). Which was very sweet and I appreciate every compliment I get on my children...HOWEVER! When you grab ahold of my cart and of the infant carrier and you start poking around and putting your hands on my child's face and NOT LETTING GO OF MY CART when I try to move and you keep following me like I've got you leashed...then it really bugs me!

I don't like crowds.

Monday's Weigh-In and Confessions

Scale reads: 143 lbs.

BLEH!

Confessions:

Ok, so I had a really emotional week, and I turn to food for comfort. I was BAD. REALLY BAD! I ate horrible food for me. I ate it and felt guilty with each and every bite, but the emotional side of me thanked me for my splurges...and now my body is saying, "FAT SLOB!" Sigh.

So, now I've found some resolve with the craziness of last week and I'm back on track - or am trying to be!

It's terrible to have to post that I gained the weight back...and having to post it on the Internet... Bleh.

She Used Her Hands

I love watching the Food Network, but every now and again I see a little something that's disturbing...

Giada De Laurentiis is always fun to watch on Everyday Italian (even though she scares my husband)...but the other day I was watching an episode of it and ...

And she tossed the salad with the dressing using her hands.

Her.hands.

I've never before seen this done and it just looked rather nasty to me...who wants to eat a salad after it's been manhandled?

But on an up note, Food Network's new show "Ham on the Street" was great!

I've only been able to catch one episode, but the host went around the city asking people to try a hotdog from his pot a various weiners...and they had to guess what kind of meat it was. If they were right, they got to just be right and enjoy the hotdog. If they were wrong though...they had to drink a shot of the hot dog water from the pot!

Eww. Lots of people were wrong...

Unconscious Mutterings

A good friend of mine always participates in the Sunday Mutterings. I've been meaning to join in in the fun...and who knows, maybe I'll learn a thing or two about myself!

"Free association is described as a "psychonanalytic procedure in which a person is encouraged to give free rein to his or her thoughts and feelings, verbalizing whatever comes into the mind without monitoring its content." Over time, this technique is supposed to help bring forth repressed thoughts and feelings that the person can then work through to gain a better sense of self." ~As copied from Luna Nina's blog.

1. Alone:: Quiet
   
2. Science:: Evolution
   
3. Deposit:: Bank
   
4. Faithful:: Husband
   
5. Tender:: Heart
   
6. Chocolate:: Mocha
   
7. Homework:: Icky
   
8. Tamper:: Airplane Bathroom Smoke Detector
   
9. Friend:: Dependable
   
10. Wire:: Bra
    

Do You See A Resemblance?

We all know I love my children tremendously and with all my heart...

But!

Is it just me, or does anyone else see a resemblance here?



And hopefully I'm not the only person who watched this TV show...

I Bet Her Name Was Bubba

It was my third year of college and I had just transferred Universities. I wanted extra spending money and the THING to do was to get a job on campus. The trick was though, was to get a job on campus that was -easy-. A job that allowed you to earn that paycheck all the while work on your studies at the same time. Oh yeah, and socialize with your friends when they popped by too.

My roomates and I heard that the library was THE place to get a great (and easy) campus job. So we applied there. They were lucky. I got a job, but wasn't as lucky...grumble.

They both got jobs in Periodicals. Easy peasy. They had to put all the magazines back where they belonged and other than that, they got to chit chat, read all the latest gossip (from all the current magazines at their fingertips), and study as need be...and what better place too than the quiet lower level of the library.

Me, I got hired to work in Interlibrary Loans. Yay. I actually had to work my tail off...gathering books and copying articles and scanning chapters and then the packaging and faxing of materials to all the various colleges in the area. And then accept in all the materials students on campus had ordered from other libraries and sort and sift and label and address so that they could come by and pick up what they needed....

Then there was the updating in the computer system etc etc etc so on and so forth.

Meanwhile, as I'd shuffle through Periodicals I'd see my roomates gabbing with friends or reading the latest People Magazine.

But I did meet some neat people in Interlibrary Loans that I worked with, one of them being a guy named Denny. He had a very English accent and was just attending college in the States and then probably returning home afterwards. He was spunky and lively and entertaining. Most of all though, he always came to work with some story to share.

He came dragging in to work one day with the darkest circles under his eyes, yet with a big cheshire cat grin on his face. Upon further investigation, I found out he had spent the entire night ~chatting on the internet~ with a girl.

"Chatting on the internet?? Huh?? What do you mean?" I asked.

He went on to explain to me about IRC and what it was and how you used it and how he had met the most amazing girl in his life... right there... on IRC and how he saw a picture of her and how he was sure she was a model and how he might be in love... all from one night's chat.

After telling him I think he needed some serious rest, I teased him about the possibility of this "dream girl" being a man in disguise and how SHE was probably named Bubba with some sort of rhaspy, deep voice. Needless to say, he found little humor in my jest and assured me - this.was.real.and.she.was.real. -

I knew nothing much about the internet at that time. I knew at the University I came from I could get an email account on campus for $10 a month, but I'd have to go into one particular building on the rather large State campus to check it on one of about 15 computers.

So this whole IRC, chatting, free email, etc that was at my finger tips at the new University was a novelty to me.

Denny showed me how to telnet in to IRC using a UNIX machine. It was exciting and fascinating...

And thus began my life in the WWW and the Internet...

One thing lead to another and the knowledge of how to do more and more with the Internet and computers evolved.

That is how I ended up on the Internet.

How did you end up on the Internet?

I wonder.

Pink Glasses

Since my husband and I usually lounge around in our glasses, the little one is rather infactuated with them. She calls them "Lahh". So I ordered her a pair of cute pink ones with clear/rosy colored lenses for her to wear around the house and in the car.

The first thing she did was tell me they were dirty and needed cleaning - which my husband does every day. I thought it was funny that she picked up on that.

We cleaned them and then she was giddy tromping around the house with her ~lahhs~ on.

But, I also wear my sunglasses a lot when I'm wearing my contacts and I usually put them on the top of my head, especially if I'm wearing my hair down to keep it out of my face...

Which was another thing she picked up on...



And she got a new purse too, because what fun would new glasses be without a new purse...

(Although the purse is a bit hard to see with her swinging it about while I'm trying to snap a shot!)

Monday's Weigh-In and Confessions

Scale reads: 141 lbs

Confessions:

I ate this and one of these and two of these.

They were all REALLY good.

Side note: Those were splurges throughout the week! Not eaten all at one sitting!

All Wrapped Up

My oldest little one raided the hall closet this morning while I was trying to get ready to head out on a drive with the family.

She seemed to think the living room needed a bit of toddler decorating and decided to use old Christmas wrapping paper to spruce up the place.

The majority of a roll of wrapping paper was strewn ALL OVER the living room...

All.Over.

And then she sang out in loud delight into the empty paper roll...Doot-Do-Do!

A Little Side Tracked

I finally got all the material cut out for the rest of the burp cloths I'm making, but then I got a little side tracked with the left over material.

My daughter has a yard of gold sequence fabric that she plays with, so I took some soft cotton material that's white and made a blanket for her combining the two. She adores it and has spent the morning donning it as if she were Queen.

And then I made her a silly play dress. Purple floral body and white cotton dangles...she thinks they are socks. I didn't have a pattern for the body so I just had to wing it looking at one of her shirts.

I wonder what my husband will say when he sees her...

The First Had Been Made

I'm actually finding time to sew! I'm sewing baby burp cloths as a gift - doesn't sound glamorous I know, but they are SO needed...just ask anyone with a newborn!

New Digs...Again.

I had had enough of the pink. So voila ~my new template has arrived.

A Night Out

I spent all this time yesterday trying to figure out what I was going to cook for dinner - a low calorie dinner without compromising flavor.

I hummed and hawed over a handful of recipes and yapped with friends about which sounded better and how I could minimize the calories with various substitutions - I'm sure they enjoyed such thrilling conversation. Riight.

After spending considerable time trying to figure out how to make mongolian beef low cal, I accepted defeat and moved my thoughts on to another menu plan.

After writing my grocery list for the items needed, I decided it was too icky outside to actually bundle up the little ones and walk myself over to the store, buy the needed items, and then walk back. The walk would have done me good, but it was icky and I wasn't in the mood.

I tried to movtivate myself. I really did. And after much effort, it was not going to happen.

With my acceptance of staying in the house, I adjusted the menu for dinner yet again to include items that we already had in stock.

Then my husband called to let me know he's on his way home from work. I tantalized him with the low calorie meal I had planned, and although he was quite thankful for continuing with my diligent plan of attack to be healthy, he could tell in my voice that I wasn't ecstatic about it.

He thought it might be more fun if we go out - get me out of the house and get me something to eat that sounded better than "what we had in the house".

Although I told him ~I'd think about it~ vs. staying at home and let him know the decision when he arrived at the house - I was darn near ready to walk out the door with both kids in hand as soon as his keys hit the lock!

We had a really nice time at dinner. Despite the fact that we had two high chairs at the table (one with the toddler and one with the infant carrier), and we were managing sippy cups and snacks and crayons and and and...it felt like we were on a date nevertheless.

We were good too! We wanted to eat like cows, but we shared an appetizer instead and also shared an entree...and we shared a beer. The appetizer was 'Wok Seared Pan Asian Chicken and Lettuce Wraps' (pictured above) and the entree was a steamed rice with spicy shrimp and vegetables. We would have been fine with just the appetizer and beer..we ended up bringing home a lot of the entree as left overs.

Slowly we're piecing this new healthy lifestyle together. But it was rather comical when we both simultaneously grabbed our menus and without prompting showed each other the dessert we really wanted to dive in to head first!

Lost Leptins

The North American Association for the Study of Obesity has finally explained my problem!

Specifically, the study found that subjects between the ages of 32 and 59 who slept four hours or less per night were 73 percent more likely to be obese than those who slept between seven and nine hours each night. People who got only five hours of sleep had a 50 percent higher risk than those who were getting a full night's rest. Those who got six hours of sleep were just 23 percent more likely to be substantially overweight.

"But we think it has more to do with what happens to your body when you deprive it of sleep as opposed to the amount of physical activity that you get. Other studies have shown that leptin levels decrease and grehlin levels increase in people who are sleep-deprived, leading to increased appetite and consumption."

So maybe if I got a nanny for the children and moved into a 'Smart House', I could get in nine hours of sleep each night and slumber my way to a perfect figure!

Doodle Disaster

The munchkin got a neat doodling mat for Christmas this year. You fill the marker that it came with with water and then you can draw all over this specially treated mat and create magical art!

It's great because by the time she's bored with what she's drawn, the water has dried and the canvas is cleared for more doodling.

We learned a lesson yesterday though:

Water isn't the only liquid that will turn the white canvas to blue!

As my daughter was peacefully drawing (so I thought!) in the living room and I was cleaning up the kitchen, I begin hearing the repeated sounds of, "Ut oh, Mommy!...Ut oh, Mommy!..." Followed by myself being tugged into the living room.

And this is what she showed me:



The Princess piddled. What a work of art!

Crazy Calories

Ok, so I'm really trying to be .::focused::. with the eating healthy and I'm trying to help the husband and myself look better by counting the calories in my dinner preparation...

I always knew avacados were high in fat content and calories, but gosh I didn't really fathom exactly how much until I looked it up today...

One avacado has the same amount of fat as a Big Mac!

Doesn't that just baffle your brain? It does mine.

Monday's Weigh-In & Confessions

Sigh. I'd really like to lie right now.

Scale reads: 143 lbs

So I didn't make progress this week - at least not if you go just by what the scale says. But I did start eating better!

With a few oopsies and utohs...

Confessions:

"Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie." ~Jim Davis, "Garfield"

I baked a carrot cake. BUT! I only ate one piece and my husband ate none, so I threw it out yesterday. A week of rotting in the fridge was enough time to look at it sitting there.

I ate a bunch of french fries at Red Robin ~eeks~ with ranch dressing for a dipping sauce. They were so good...hot and salty..I felt entirely guilty and BAD. My husband didn't eat a single one.

I also ate this horrendously bad for me snackbar. I bought a box of Skippy Peanut Butter and Fudge Snackbars for Munchkin #1 for a dessert option... the box kept screaming at me from the pantry and I'm so used to picking up Munchkin #2 every time she cries that OUT OF HABIT (I swear!) I just picked up the snackbar - and then I ate it.

Not to lead you to believe that I would ever do that when one of my children screams...

clicking and meshing

It's hard to say whether or not it's from lack of sleep, but lately I've been doing a lot of thinking.

What is it that actually attracts people to each other?

What causes you to stop to talk to some people, and yet pass others by completely? Why do we fall in love with the ones we do? Why do we reach intimacy in such deep levels with some and can hardly stand to be in the same room with others?

and then with that...

Why are we so tolerating and accepting of some people in our lives, and judgemental and accusatory with others?

What makes us set the unique expectations toward those we know?

and then taking all that to an even larger level...

Why do we even bother?

What purpose is it supposed to fulfill? What is it we are supposed to learn? to gain? to benefit from/with?

I wonder.

Simply the Cutest

Today the rain ~finally~ let up and we were able to get out for a walk. Seeing as how I cleaned out the fridge purging it of all that is ~bad~ and ~icky~, we didn't have much in there to the tune of my husband opening it up on his way to work and blurting out, "Okkkkaaayyyy, I guess we don't have any food now that we're going to be eating healthy!" said with a chuckle.

So we went for a walk to the grocery store. Myself. Munchkin #1. Munchkin #2. The stroller. And the blasted MAIL KEY. For my long term readers, you know my ordeal with the MAIL KEY. Which reminds me, it's still sitting in a mess within my purse despite it's attached blue ribbon...oops!

On our walk home, with a stroller loaded with groceries and crossing five lanes of traffic on a quick 'Walk' signal, I notice my daughter waving. I glance around to see who she's waving at so seriously. Sure, people will wave back at her when she does this, but she was really excited as if this person kept on waving and waving and waving...

I discovered that she was waving back at the blinking, red, 'Do not walk!' signal at the crosswalk. I'm not sure if any of the stopped cars at this crowded intersection saw what I saw, but it sure was cute...and that hand kept on blinking waves back at her for the majority of our crossing.

Then we came home and had lunch. I was taking advantage of my oldest daughter being strapped in at the table in her Kinderzeat so I could get a few things done around the house. Me zooming about and her eating her much loved pear and pineapple puree in her clear glass apple bowl. After not much time had passed, I hear a persistent, "More! More! Eat! Mom!" and when I looked back at my daughter I see her peering at me through the glass bowl that she had basically licked clean and was holding up to her face like a mask asking for more fruit. I had to laugh she was just so darn precious.

And if those two episodes didn't make my day already, I was feeding the baby in the living room this evening and my daughter rummaged in her closet and pulled out my bunny slipper she swiped from me awhile back and brought them out to her baby sister and tried putting them on her not even one month old feet. After all, she likes being comfy cozy when she eats...why wouldn't her sister? And how nice of her to share the swiped bunny slippers...

I thought life was colorful when I had just one child, but it's becoming full spectrum with two!

2006

It's amazing how time flies when you're up to your eyeballs in baby stuff. All my days are mushing together - nights are days and days are nights - and the nonstop rain outside isn't helping me figure my ups from downs.

Christmas was wonderful and as usual, I was spoiled terribly.

One of my gifts was a trip to this magnificent day spa where I was treated like a princess. The spa was beautiful and when I walked through the doors to start my 'special treatment' I honestly felt like I had entered another plane on this planet - right down to the little gold wrapped chocolates left for me everywhere I went. I had a pedicure (deep red nail polish, of course!), a hot body wrap (I was a little claustiphobic with this, but it sure felt magnificent once I calmed my brain down.), and then an out of this world deep tissue body massage. The owner of the spa was the woman who gave me the massage. It was fascinating to talk to her about how she ended up owning such a spectacular spa and to find out that she did all the decorating herself. I also think it's neat that despite the popularity of this spa, she still works with her clients - and she's young! Made me realize that people's dreams can come true - and well before retirement age too.

While I was at the spa, I don't know if it was my after-baby body amidst all the beauty that surrounded me, or if it was the approaching new year and the over used resolution of starting a diet that got to me, but I decided that I am not thrilled with how I'm looking and I want to do something about it.

I know it's only been three weeks approximately after having baby #2, but I'm gearing up mentally for a good and healthy change. So I'm declaring Mondays to be my public share of my weight (eeks!) and we'll see what kind of progress I can make. I am not going to cut out all the junk I eat, but I am going to try to make better choices on a whole with little splurge moments every now and again.

And I'm dragging my husband down this road with me. I hope we can stick to it.

MONDAY'S WEIGHT 1.02.06: 143 lbs (Oink!)